So common that new with it. Yeah From his butcher English no why how would it what see all right? Morning Well tell us. What happen in Quiet simply. I was like a gladiator waiting to enter the arena primed and ready Thinking about and I should have met at the restaurant instead of on the corner Uh, who meets on a corner.I know, I think it would be awkward walking into place chats alongside my witty normal chat But you're not normal. There's a subjective opinion, and you are awkward I'm a social chameleon you can adapt and fit in anywhere with anyone and Chloe's cool funny And totally get. Take us back, how did you get a date in the first place? Simple I thought only the best Indian restaurant in the city the one no one knows about Come on. Come on playing the brown card earlier.
It's all documents a one-hour free, but well then tell us I mean, I ain't gonna be awkward in the south of Nazareth yeah. I'm trying but you keep interrupting. Hello. Helloo..Hey, you came.
Yeah One Mill Shall we. Where we going? This way oh, sorry next One, oh She wasn't gonna know what hit her, it was heart on the sleeve sleeve in her face. That's what I was going to do, pound her face with my sleeve you were going to punch her. Metaphorically, yes.
Nice! I took her to the dosas for, near the one the curry gods forbid you to let the white pin on you Rose and Joshua I thought he said that place to close down he had, for refurbishments emailing Savio trust me food Here is as good as any Indian mother's mother has ever cooked; properly prepared, proper spices made you know the right way would care Very important in our culture, Very important! I've been looking forward to this I'm going to one of their famous dosas. You should have one too good for first-timers Umm I will have the rommel extra special please You what she been here before. Boys. She went off menu Off menu I will just have a Dosa I Love this place I'm alone today Yeah, Been here few times, I used to go out with this Indian guy Vinay He used to rave about this place.
The ram-Laksha not on the menu It's this special curry that the chefs have passed down through the centuries Memory makes the recipe, but it tastes like It's got everything in it, cardamom, fennel, nutmeg, cumin; everything It tastes Divine. It's very authentic Do you really like this is it a bit bland for me? This is a delicious. I Can't believe it. She'd not the brown right out of me.
I wanted to be the first guy to taken there on a cultural odyssey Dark and mysterious, that's all I've got Competent to know Karma Sutra moves. Can't do the comedy on Clarkson. You want me to, I can. No its fine.
Don't need it but What do I have left impress her with. Yeah, its so awkward. She obviously loves a bit of Brown. Thats what she says what happened with you and Vinny.
It's ..Vinay, yeah, he hated been called Vinny. Maybe we shouldn't talk about our exes. No. No totally understand.
Yes. I'd be the day But you guys went together that long. We backpacked around India for four and three-quarter months together I'm more interested in the authentic Indian experience rather than the British Asian one Have you ever been to India? Yeah! Ofcourse The Motherland, go go back. Yeah, but I get travel sick.
And I have to watch for, what eat, when I get out there as well because that makes me sick Anyway, you were saying, India gone Love India and When we got back I said let's move in together, and Vinay and his comedy troupe headed up to edinburgh He needed time to work on himself or his material He is an artist; can't pin him down. This guy sounded amazing. I wanted to be any cool Asian boys she knew. I want to be in a comedy troupe I want to be Vinay.
Been a a bit of a bollywood star but cooler with good facial hair and an Auora around him He's brown gosling. That's who he is, a real hero, a real human being You can see her smiling to herself The smile was pretty big either measures recalling the beautiful memory. He was such an important part of her life But talking about it would ruin the atmosphere Yep Forget Vinay. Sounds whirlwind.
Come on man, Get back in the game play to your strengths, Brown it up a bit It was like a rick steiner. Talk about all your gods. Tell her story about your ... Who's rick stein No, Thanks, I will eat using my hands (in hindi).
Can you believe she's spoken perfect Hindi? All right, I need the cutlery Oh man she sounds amazing, you should totally take her to your mom Yeah, but for instant Pavan in India, he is not going to have a scooby. Oh, what the same is it? I Watched as she tore into her special dish with her fingers, shaped like an expert Whipping it up to her gorgeous mouth without spilling any drops anywhere. It was impressive, but bloody messy on those fingers Are going to help the thing how would she ever get them clean or get rid of the smell? Yeah, I just Wasn't hungry anymore. You know what's funny right? Last time.
I was here. So these two old men sat eating like this How can that be comfy, right? Vinay said that all the old Indian men do this at the dinner tables, ...Your dad No I mean my dad was a stickler for table Manners Everything had to be in with a knife and fork even weetabix what, my dad thought that's how you integrate we gave the empire pajamas and branders, and they gave us cutlery and cleaner hands (Bollywood song playing in background - from movie "Ram Lakhan" - Deena Deen dha) (Hindi - Rump pum pum ...) (Hindi - Rump pum pum ... Both singing) (Hindi - Ye jee O Jee...) 1 2 Ka (hindi) 4 4 2 ka (hindi) 1, my name is Lakhan, my name is Lakhan (song continues in hindi) We were back on track. I only knew two Bollywood songs off by heart as far as Chloe was concerned I was as Indian as Vinay.
I decided to go for it I Could feel her smile all around my lips I could taste the cardamom the fennel in not idiot you're kissing her or you could think about is food No, I pulled away because all I could think about was vinay, was I kissing better or worse than him? I Know what we can do Come with me my sweetheart (in hindi) What did she say I've got no idea? Pavan That's good. It's completely cool. Ok, Are you ready? Well? What is this place. Secret, India I just took you to secret India.
Yeah trust me. This is the real India come on, Dosa boy! I had no idea where we were heading Place smell of hot steaming boiled milk and aniseed. Yet, aniseed. It was definitely aniseed! (Lot of noise and bit of music) Right, all my Uncles' had got together for private boys night there is men everywhere, back slapping, there is music, tea, cards ah and everyone's chewing away with these red teeth (A man spits the "Paan" an indian chewing item) I mean where was I, who were these people? It was hot, smelly and dirty; this really could be India (Man speaking in hindi over phone) You should understand! She means nothing to me obviously she means nothing to me, I don't know her.
Hello ("Namastey"in Hindi) Oh, Chamchee (slang name given by the man) Surprise surprise she knew his name he knew her name. They're of chatting away in Hindi ... And I felt like a little boy stood by her mother again Waiting for the uncle to ask me how school was going, Or how tall I was getting or? When I'm getting married it was always in that order ...Great stuff! Calcutta express, for myself, thank you (speaking in hindi) umm, Sure, it will be first class (in hindi), Chamchee And for you (in hindi). What is it? Paan! ...
Big chewy after dinner stuff sweet stuff! ...Betel leaf Yeah, Yeah, of course Bloody Paan (betel leaf) Yeah, no, I had to make sure what it was because it could be anything. So, Yeah, no problem. No bloody problem mmM. What will you take (in hindi)...
What you for Just the Normal one regular bog-Standard Build this tea is fun You want tea flavor No, No just Whatever you recommend I Had no idea. (In hindi) for him, one sweet Paan (indian betel leaf item), Thank you! She was fluid in her order practiced by a thousand visits. I suspect is this, is this weed no Ready all-in-one all-in-one The taste of the Leaf dried my mouth out So I nearly wretched as I bit into it, sugar and tang and the aniseed spill onto my tongue But she was still going loving it. Oh It was ridiculous my mouse was under attack.
I needed to get a secret India out of my mouth ... (Vomiting sound) oh, oh oh It's late and unschool night. Let's get you back. I Sat there and thought what am I doing? I don't even like fiery gobstoppers, and she's making me nick the killer Asian equivalent this isn't me I Realized my dad was right if he can't eat with a knife and a fork, then it wasn't designed to be eaten by an Englishman Sorry by a gentleman And that's what you've learned Yeah in summary.
I'm using the food as a metaphor. You can't date a metaphor. I know but she just wasn't my cup of Dosa she what your cup of Dosa all right You're right Yeah, genuine yum So we need to find you a nerdy girl who loves dosas Man, I do love those I do love Dosas! Today today, I feel okay tomorrow tomorrow Do the soup - stuff I can revoke we both.
