Why is Sumatran coffee so special

What makes Sumatran coffee special?  The soils, the sun,  the rain.  Everything makes it different.  The very unique and the very special thing about Sumatra is the taste.   Very low acidity and having a nice earthy flavor, a nice chocolaty flavor in the coffee.

And its a rarity in the world of coffee. Its very unusual that beans are hulled wet.  Only in Sumatra and Sulawesi that this takes places. And its very difficult.

Once the parchment skins off, the moisture of the green bean is about 35 percent. We want to bring it down to slightly below 12 percent, around 11.8, 11.7. And that takes three full days of sunshine. It's continually being raked.

Theyve tried implementing the same process in other parts of the world with very similar varieties, and the quality has not been the same. With the coffees that were buying, its the Sumatran process that you find in this part of the world  that makes Sumatran coffee special. Its the perfect storm to make that kind of coffee..

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What is the difference of Espresso & Drip Coffee [Puzzle Caffe]

What is the difference of Espresso & drip
coffee? For most people who are lovers of caffeine,
the line between drip style coffee and espresso can be a bit fuzzy. What makes them different?
The main difference between espresso and drip coffee is the preparation method used.
In general, espresso is prepared using a much finer grind than what would be used to prepare
drip coffee. Espresso requires an espresso machine which supports the espresso preparation
process. The grinds are tamped so they are very compact.

Nearly boiling water runs through
the grinds for around 15-20 seconds to pull an espresso shot. Espresso is generally thicker
than coffee brewed by other methods, has a higher concentration of suspended and dissolved
solids, and has crema on top, the lovely creamy foam on top of every good espresso.
Drip coffee, on the other hand, is a bit easier and more common to understand. Drip brewing,
filtered coffee, or pour-over is a method which involves pouring water over roasted,
medium ground coffee beans contained in a filter to get the coffee. Whether using a
simple pour-over set, a French press or an electrical coffeemaker, the essence of drip
coffee process remains the same.

Regards to caffeine, Espresso has more caffeine
per unit volume than drip coffee, but because the usual serving size is much smaller, the
total caffeine content is less than a mug of standard brewed coffee, contrary to a common
belief. Both the drip coffee and espresso can be consumed
on their own, but they are also the base for various other coffee beverages. Specifically
the espresso is used for many modern favorites like caffe latte, cappuccino or caffe Americano. Did this video help you understand the difference
of Espresso & drip coffee? Subscribe to this channel to get more information
regularly about coffee, but also, did you know that Puzzle Caffe is actually a casual
mobile game with Puzzles based on the concept of preparation of different coffee bevarages
and having a barista experience? If you are interested, visit puzzlecaffe.Com to join
the beta and download the game for free on your phone!.

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Things You'll Get If You Are A Coffee Addict - POPxo

Oh God! Please go India. Come on! I'm so nervous. God, oh God, oh God! Coffee? Should I call for coffee? No. I don't like coffee.
I'll have some tea.

-You don't like coffee?
-No, I am a tea drinker. -You are a tea drinker?
-What happened, Komal? How can someone possibly
not like coffee? Coffee is the best thing that has
happened to us. Are you...Are you okay? -Calm down!
-Calm down? -There's no tea at home. Sorry.
-Just calm down.

I'll get going. I've been here since
the past half an hour. Please give me some coffee.
My head's splitting! -There is no milk, madam.
-What do you mean, there is no milk? So get me black coffee,
just give me some coffee, please! Bhaiya, how many times have
I explained to you that I do not like so
much milk in my coffee. It's not strong, at all.
You've made it so sweet.

Here, take it back.
I'll have it at the coffee shop. Hey what's up? Dinner? Actually, not dinner.
Let's go for a coffee. Starbucks. What do you mean, so boring?
Starbucks is the best coffee, baby! Komal, you are addicted to coffee.

24 Hours! Whenever we've met,
you are always with a cup of coffee. Cherry, stop with the lecture.
It's just coffee! What the big deal? No, Komal. It's just not coffee. Are you aware,
this can lead to heart problems.

Oh shit! Oh shit! Hey, listen. It's fine. You can continue lecturing after
I finish my coffee, please? You'll never understand. Sorry, what? These are a few things that happen
if you love coffee, as much as I do.

Let me know in the comments section
below if you relate to this video. For more such videos
subscribe to POPxo TV. Also, India's biggest
sale is almost here. Myntra's end of reason sale is going
to start from the 24th of June and will go on till the 26th of June.

You can get discounts from 50-80% on all your favorite brands.
Create shopping groups, right away. Tell us your group names
in the comments below as one lucky winner can
stand a chance to win Rs. 5,000 Daily! Logon to POPxo.Com/myntra to know more..

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The 9 Types Of Coffee Drinkers

(Smooth, jazzy music) - Don't talk to me before
I've had a sip of coffee. (Ding) The last person who talked
to me before I had coffee, (beep) Don't touch me before coffee. Went missing. Some people are scared
of me but, whatever.

- A drink should be refreshing, it should be like ooh,
cool refreshing drink, not ow my mouth's on fire. (Ding) When it's hot I can walk around with my iced coffee and
no one will judge me, and when it's cold, people
are like what are you doing. I love it. - So I drink my coffee black.

No, no sugar, no milk, no frill. (Ding) I just go to work. Just very plain. Zero games on my phone.

You know what I do, I read news. That's it. (Hissing) - I know everything about coffee, I am like the coffee
connoisseur, sommelier, so. Coffee's not easy, it's not simple.

(Ding) I've been studying the art
of coffee for, (exhales) 17 years now. So we require all of our suppliers to pick the beans by feet. It just tastes, you'll notice it once you develop the coffee palate. Typically roasting just, in my experience, destroys the flavor of the bean, so we toast here, yeah.

- Hi, may I please have an
iced grande iced coffee, no classic, with a little
bit of half and half? (Ding) I mean yeah, people say
I'm a coffee addict, but I read the New York
Times, they say it's fine, like no one's proven
anything wrong with coffee, I don't think anything's
wrong with coffee. Hi again, iced grande
iced coffee, no classic, with a little bit of skim milk. About five sounds about normal a day, I mean this is, I'm up to three, so I think I could go up, you know, five is a good stopping point. Barista, regular? Yeah, I'll probably cut off around five.

(Dripping) - I'm more of a slow, easygoing person, and I'm just not trying to
be off the top all the time. (Ding) I mean yeah, a lot of older people drink decaffeinated coffee but I mean, I guess I'm kinda like an old soul myself. I don't need help staying awake. I enjoy resting.

I mean, isn't that normal? I never miss a night's sleep. Not with this. - I love coffee, but I don't
want to overpollute my body. (Ding) Hi, I want an almond milk latte, how many calories is in that one? For me it's really important
that the milk is organic.

Almond milk, soy milk, hemp milk. I'm in the process of trying
to cleanse my body right now so I don't want to pollute it
with other unhealthy sugars. - Hi, can I have a large
French vanilla coffee with lots of skim milk and three sugars? So I like the idea of coffee, but I need to have a lot of
milk in it, and a lot of sugar, because I don't love the taste of it. (Ding) Actually, can it just be
more of like a milkshake? Just a little bit of
coffee in it, like a drop? It is not enough milk.

Let's pour out half of that. - I love coffee, but no more. Because, I've been getting a
lot of headaches and stuff. (Ding) I'm trying to quit coffee.

It's been surprisingly hard. If I was drinking coffee
still, which I'm not, tea, I really like light roasts actually, because you don't know this,
and it's kinda counterintuitive but light roasts tend to
have more caffeine in them, so you'd be getting
more bang for your buck. Me? No, I, I don't miss coffee. If anything, coffee misses me.

- [Black Coffee Drinker]
What are you drinking? - [Other Woman] Oh, um, it's tea. - You're drinking tea? What are you even doing here? It's a coffee shop. Get out of here..

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People Try Death Wish Coffee For The First Time

- [Voiceover] Warning! Fiercely caffeinated, highly addictive. World's strongest coffee. Today we found eight people
who have a death wish! - World's strongest coffee. That's totally bull-- - Are you gonna wish
you died or it's what's gonna make you die? - Are they implying it's
enough caffeine to kill you? - [Voiceover] Just how
strong is this coffee? We took one mg of caffeine
and substituted it for one tablespoon of Death
Wish grounds so you can actually see it.

The results: (dramatic music) - You can try all you
want, you're not gonna make me afraid of beans. - I hate coffee, the end. - [Man] I like sugar. - [Woman] Coffee flavored milk.

- Going to Taste Town. - Oh wow, this is amazing! - Just tastes like coffee. - Notes of bones. - And wood.

- Hellfire. - Nails. - Blood. - That's what that taste
is, it's Viking blood.

- Wow, like I feel like
all my senses are like elevated right now. - I'm drinking it without milk and I can drink this whole cup. - My heart is definitely
beating really fast right now. - I would wish Death coffee on anybody.

- Oh, is this gonna give us diarrhea? - I'm home after work after
having two cups of it. I felt a lot of energy
running through my hands. - I'm here in the bathroom
and things are moving along really well and urgently. - It's around midnight
and I cannot fall asleep.

- I usually like need two
or three cups of coffee to even really feel it. I'm definitely awake. - [Man] More Death Wish
coffee please, now! How many times do I have to say it? - [Woman] Garret's pumped up!.

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Oshawott and Coffee - A music video

A cup of Coffee In the morning And I get the paper I check the headlines and decide that I am bored I check my email and i decide to answer later. Another Cup of Coffee And I drag myself to work. My life is grounded in a firm routine Of coffees sleep and work I am not boring, I just stick to what I know I'm sitting there and working I realize I forgot to wake up I can't  be productive When I'm dreaming about a sheep. I go upstairs and get myself Another Cup of Coffee I get downstairs and then i spill it on the floor.

My life is grounded in a firm routine Of coffees Sleep and work I am not boring, I just stick to what I know Rock abye baby, On the tree top Lunch hour's over, And i can't stay up. I've got to drink coffee, But thats A mistake. I best switch to decaf Or i'll stay awake. My life is grounded in a firm routine Of Coffee.

Sleep and work I am not boring, I just stick to what I know I'm not boring, I just stick to what i know. I'm not boring, I just stick to what i know. I stick to what I know. I stick To What I Know..

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Make Perfect Coffee at Home- Tricks and recipe for homemade coffee

How to make Homestyle coffee? First we'll take a cup Take two spoons of
coffee in it Two tablespoons of sugar. Put two drops of water in it and beat it
nicely One more drop of water we beat the sugar coffee and the drops
of water which is added nicely to blend it. See the color, the color is changing the more you beat it, the more fluffy coffee you get. Sugar the coffee and the drops of water which is added is to be mixed very well.

We have to beat it nicely so that it blends
will see the color is changing the more you read the more fluffy coffee you get. Look at this. All right now will add two cups of water for two cups of coffee make sure you add three forth cup. Light the gas stove Let the water boil
and we can continue to beat it for better results Will wait for the water to boil.

Now we  will add the coffee sugar paste to the
boiling water While you add the paste to the water make sure you quickly start stirring it. Look at the pan, I will show you. See this Put it on sim add milk to it, half a cup We will wait for it to get boiled along with the milk If you keep stirring it the froth comes up. And our coffee is ready i'll show you, will switch off the gas stove.

Look at this I'll put it into my cup now. Here you are with hot Homemade tasty Coffee.

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Jordan Schlansky Lectures Conan About Coffee In Naples- CONAN on TBS

Yeah I just want to get a cup of coffee. Yes, that's why we're here this is the best place
to get one in Naples. Now we come over here and we pay first. Worried substantively with paying first, what if I'm not happy with what I'm- Excuse me.

(Speaking Italian) You know what I love about Naples? People stand to get this coffee, they don't sit in a corner
and write a screenplay for four hours, you know what I mean? It's called "espresso",
it's an express activity. You get in, and you get out,
and you go about your day. It's called "espresso",
it's an express activity. (Audience laughing and cheering) When you order your
coffee, I'll order and then you should say, (swears in Italian) Yes like, "I want it (beep) hot." You missed the entire
preparation of the coffee 'cause you were talking
Oh shut up.

To that woman.
Oh shut up. This is is a Neapolitan cappuccino, 150 milliliters, it's only
25 milliliters of coffee made from seven grams of beans, and then about four ounces of milk. Look at this man's elegance,
watch his movements, it's the ballet at the
machine, no movement is wasted, everything is perfect, look at him go, it's a dance, it's a dance
between man and machine. No it's not! He's making coffee.

Nice, very nice. So just
drink this down in one shot? You just had a real experience,
you should enjoy that, yeah, that's one shot, seven grams of-- Stop talking to me! Shut up, shut up, shut
up! (Audience laughs) I don't wanna know how many
grams are in here, shut up. (Audience laughs) (claps and yells) Whoa, that was good. Not gonna have another one? No I'm satisfied, I know when to stop.

And I do not. (Audience laughs) (Conan yells and grunts) Feel that, get in there, get that! (Growls energetically) (audience laughs) Yes! (Claps and snaps) (meows) (growls) (makes silly noises) Four grams of coffee,
seven grams of water, mmm, six ounces, federal law,
mmm, traditional, traditional mmm, must have traditional,
tell him I want a pumpkin spice latte. (Audience laughs) (audience laughs) Tell him I had too much coffee. (Speaks Italian) I'm crazy when I have the coffee, you know it's craziness, too much coffee, too much coffee, way too
much coffee, ladies (laughs) (growls) Wow! I don't
know what this is but yes.

This is so nice of you to
give me all these gifts. Give me your watch, give me the watch, I want the watch, give it to me. Give me your jacket, I want your jacket, you wanna be nice to the American? You're gonna give me that,
just give me that watch. Hey, give me your shoe, gimme your shoe.

I'm gonna take it all for
free 'cause I'm a guest. Ciao!
No, no, no! (Audience cheers) I'm in downtown Naples,
I just found this guy, he's incredible, sir? (Man whistles) (bird sounds) (Conan makes bird noises) (audience laughs) (Conan and man laugh) If I had been born in Naples, this is what I'd be doing right now. This is a statue of Jacino Murrat. I've never seen a statue
with such an impressive crotch bulge (audience
laughs) look at that, that's totally unnecessary,
someone accused him of stuffing his pants, and he's like, me? Stuffing my pants, no! Me? I just saw this, this
is the most frightening ice cream display I've
ever seen in my life.

I don't know how this,
why would anyone want to buy ice cream from this guy? (Giggles) Look, he's got the blood
of his latest victim on his smock right here. Ciao! Ciao! Oh, they run away. Jordan, why do they not
wish to be viewed by us? Maybe they're shy, they
need to be on television to self-validate. (Audience awws) Ciao! Scusa!
Scusa! Senore! Buonasera!
Buonasera! [Jordan] Buonasera, senore.

Can we come up?
Si! Si? Porqueno?
Is it okay? How do we get in? (Door creaks) This will be the last footage
ever seen of us alive. (Speaks Italian) Let's go! Yeah! It's amazing to be up here. (Fake opera singing)  I'm John Tuturro   I like a-pizza   I have a burro   I'm friends with a-Martin Scorsese   I like buccatini when I'm in a Firenze  (audience cheers) (speaks Italian) While we were in Naples, I was invited to appear on Italy's
most famous soap opera, Obviously, they had seen
my work in soap operas all over the world (audience laughs) Your name is?
Conan O'Brien. Now, I was about to continue
my tradition of playing a romantic lead, this time with Un Posto's beautiful Valentina Pace.

She's the one.
Hi! Oh my god. My English, it's not very good. Please, my friend will help interpret. This is my friend
Jordan.

(Audience laughs) We're not gonna, yeah,
shoots the nude women. Is there any place for him in this scene? Maybe even just a quick he
walks by, is that possible? Yeah, he could, yeah why not? Yeah. And before I knew it, it
was time for my big scene. (Speaks Italian) (audience laughs) (speaks Italian) (audience laughs) Another powerhouse
performance by Conan O'Brien.

Plus, Jordan made his soap opera debut. (Audience cheers).

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How to Order Coffee in English - Spoken English Lesson

Hi. My name is Rheedan. Welcome to Oxford
Online English! Today, we're going to learn some important words and phrases, so that
you can order your next cup of coffee in English. Do you often go for coffee? Do you know how
to order different types of coffee in English? You'll learn how in this lesson.

Let's first
look at some words you'll need to know when ordering your morning cup. At a coffee shop, drinks are usually made
from espresso. An espresso is a small amount of very strong coffee. This small amount is
called a shot.

This espresso is then drunk on its own or mixed in different ways to make
the different coffee drinks. Here are some of the most common. Americano: espresso with
hot water. Cappuccino: espresso and steamed milk, with foamed milk or cream on top.

Latte:
espresso with lots of steamed milk. Mocha: espresso, hot chocolate, and steamed milk,
sometimes with cream on top. Which of these types of coffee have you tried?
Personally, I like lattes. You can also have your coffee with different kinds of milk,
like low-fat, fat-free, or soy.

If you want coffee without milk, ask for a black coffee.
Some people also like to have things added to their coffee, like caramel, chocolate,
or vanilla syrup, or cream. You can even have an extra shot of espresso added. You also
have a choice of sizes. You can get a small, medium, large, or extra large.

Many coffee
shops have their own names for these sizes, but you don't need to know or use them. Just
using these sizes will work. How to order coffee: when giving your order,
you usually say the size first, then the type of coffee, and then the type of milk or extras.
For example, "Small cappuccino with caramel syrup" or, "Medium mocha without cream." If
you want a cold drink, you add the word "iced" before the type of coffee. For example, "Large
iced latte with low-fat milk" or, "Medium iced Americano." Placing your order: a barista is someone who
makes coffee.

They will usually take your order. There are a few things they can say,
such as, "May I take your order?" "What would you like?" "What can I get you?" "What will
you have?" You can answer in a few different ways. You can say, "I would like . .

." "I'll
have . . ." Or, "Can I get . .

.?" Then you give your order: "I'll have an Americano with
vanilla syrup." Or, "Can I get a latte with extra cream, please?" What's this order missing? If you make an
order like this, the first question you will be asked is, "What size would you like?" "What
size will that be?" Another question you might hear when making your order is, "Is that for
here or to take away?" You can answer, "For here," "To take away," or, "To go." You can
also add this information to your order. What does that look like? When you order, you can
just say, "I'd like a small mocha without cream to go," or, "I'll have a medium iced
latte with vanilla syrup, for here." After you order, the barista might say, "Will
that be all?" "Is that everything?" "Would you like anything else?" Finally, the barista
will tell you the total cost. "Your total is . .

." "That comes to . . ." "That will
be . .

." When handing over your money, you can say, "Here you are," or, "Here you go."
Once you've paid, you'll both say, "Thank you," and that's it. You've just successfully
ordered coffee in English. Let's look at a sample dialogue. "Hi.

What'll
you have?" "I"d like a large latte." "Will that be all?" "Yes, thank you." "Is that for
here? Or to go?" "To go." "Your total comes to $4." "Here you go." "Thanks very much."
"Thank you. Have a nice day." Let's look at one more. "Hi. What can I get
you?" "I'll have a small mocha with cream and a small cappuccino, for here." "Would
you like anything else?" "Yes, I'd also like an espresso." "Is that everything?" "Yes."
"That will be six pounds." "Here you go." "Here's your change." "Thanks." "Thanks very
much." There you go.

Now you'll be able to order your next cup of coffee in English. Want more practice? Look at the full lesson
on our website, oxfordonlineenglish.Com. That's it from me. I hope the lesson helped.

See
you next time!.

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How to Grow your own Coffee

Hi, my name is Byron Martin, here at
Logee's. Today we're going to be talking about coffee. One of my favorite drinks, and a beverage
that's drank by the millions, and perhaps billions of cups every day,
around the world. This is coffee.

This is 'Coffea arabica' which is the-  probably considered the best coffee, in terms of its quality
and flavor. It's a native of Africa, but it's grown
throughout the world in tropical areas where the beans are harvested, and
obviously roasted, for our beverage. You can see the leaves are very shiny;
it's a beautiful tree. It has a lateral branching habit, that kind of comes out
and weeps down.

One thing about coffee is, it's very easy
to grow, in terms of the home conditions. So, for an indoor plant, it really is a great
plant. If you've ever heard of shade-grown coffee, that is where coffee is grown
under the understory of large trees, and it tolerates the lower light. So, that's a
key in terms of our ability to grow this very well in a home situation, where
light levels may not be quite adequate.

It also can be grown in full Sun, too. The
other thing about coffee is, it's quite tolerant to temperatures. We've grown it in
some of our colder houses. It will not take it below freezing; but, it certainly can
take it down to the forties at night on a consistent basis, and the plants will
still be fine, and grow well.

The flowering cycle on it, generally, for us,
is the springtime. And, you can see, here, the plants are just coming into bud. You can see
the young buds forming at the leaf axis. This is also a point where the fruit is
starting to ripen.

These are called "cherries." They're the
yellow beans that are harvested. You can see here's a-- I'll pick one off, here-- There's one
that's ripe and ready to go. There's a green one, that came out of a later flowering cycle; will ripen, probably, during the summertime; it's still
pretty small. So, they can put out several crops a year.

Generally, our coffees here go into one huge flush. This, within the
next, oh, probably couple weeks, will be in full bloom. And, the flowers are white; they're
intensely fragrant. It's a beautiful thing to have in bloom, in the house, when they're
in flower.

And, we can look at these coffee beans, here, which actually have a pulp
around the inside of them. Once you pull the skin off, there's a sweet
pulp that, if you taste it, it actually has a sweetness to it. And then, the inside
there are two-- dropped one, but here are the two beans
that would make our coffee bean. And that certainly looks like the brown, or the
roasted coffee bean.

There's a husk on the outside of that
has to be removed before the coffee bean can be roasted, and then ground for our
drink. So, in growing coffee, in terms of its
culture, you want to have a place that probably gets some direct sunlight.
Although they can grow under lower light, they'll do best if they get direct
sunlight. As a rule of thumb, you always want to bring the soil to
dryness between waterings. They do tolerate some dryness, but severe dryness
can harm them, as it does with many plants.

We grow them in a standard
potting mix, which is our peat lite mixes, and they do pretty well with that.
There is a small amount of problems, at times, with some chlorosis in the winter
time, on the young growth. That's inter-veinal lightening on the young
growth; but generally, that recovers as the warmth comes up in summertime,
and longer days arrive. And you want to fertilize your coffee plant. Not so much in the winter time,
especially if you're in a house under lower light, but in the summertime-- if you put
it outside, or the light level increases in the window that you've got, you want
to start a regular fertilizing program with it.

Generally, we do use a liquid feed, or
granular organic, which is top-dressed or you irrigate with it. And do it
regularly. Too much is obviously not a good thing; but regularly, so the plant is
constantly growing. As far as insects and disease goes, they are susceptible to mealybug.

That's
probably the most prominent thing that we see on them. And they can get scale
insects, if scale insects are in the vicinity where they can make
contact, and move on to the plant. Thank you for watching today. There's a
little bit of information on how to grow coffee.

And for those that are adventurous, you can grow your own coffee beans,
roast them, and make your own cup of joe. Cheers!.

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Easy Cold Brew Coffee Recipe - COFFEE BREAK SERIES

Cold brew coffee is made by soaking coffee
grounds in cold or room temperature water for an extended period of time. It has a sweeter
flavor because you dont get that bitter acidity you get when you brew it with hot
water. You dont need any fancy equipment to make cold brew coffee. All you need is
a big jar, some delicious coffee beans and water!
I'll start with a large mason jar and fill it with 3 cups of filtered water.

Next, Ill
take  cup of fresh coffee beans and grind it into a medium to coarse ground. Its
really important to use quality coffee beans for your cold brew. Use either a robust medium
or dark roast. I really like this blend from Tiny Footprint Coffee - coldpress elixir #9.
Its has a combination of light and dark roasted beans specifically made for cold brew.
Its bold but smooth and chocolatey.

So look for something with a similar flavor profile.
But I especially like that this coffees fair trade, organic, and harvested with sustainable
practices. I'll Add the ground coffee to my water and
then I'll top off the jar with more water. Then I'll Make sure all of the coffee grounds
are wet. Ill gently punch down any remaining dry grounds into the water with the back of
a spoon but being careful not to stir it up.

Finally Ill seal it up air-tight and let
it brew at room temperature for 6 hours or ideally overnight. Cold brew coffee's natural
sweetness is due to its lower acidity because its brewed with cold water rather than
hot water. Ill strain it through my nut milk bag but
you can use a fine mesh sieve if you prefer. And there we have it, a beautifully concentrated
cold brew coffee that will instantly re-energize your afternoon.

I like to enjoy it over ice
with with an equal serving of milk. Sometimes I'll add a little bit of sweetener but like
I said, it already has natural sweetness so I think its perfectly balanced. If you
dont use it up right away it will last in the fridge for up to two weeks. Thanks
for watching another Coffee Break and Ill see you next time.

Bye!.

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CONTROLLING THE COFFEE EMPIRECoffee Shop Tycoon #2

[HIGH-FIVE SOUND] Top o' the morning to ya, laddies! My name is JackSepticEye and welcome back to Blood Beans, Jack and Company! We're doing well - we're doing very, very well, actually. We have a lot of drinks going on. We have - we have coffee in. I d - I don't know, do we actually have...

...Coffee? I - uhm... Forgetting how to play this game already, that's a great sign - that's a good one. Yes, we have coffee in. We're doing fuckin' fabulous, okay.

Speed up everything - summer's here! You know what that means? No, not some other person - Get out of here, Summer! That means that our drinks can change We can bring in a summer drink Add to menu an iced coffee. I don't know about all of you, but iced coffee goes down... [Suave Tone] ...Smooth... ...In the summer.

It goes down a treat. It's like pouring liquid love down your neck. That sounds like it's something - but it's not, it's not what you're thinking about. It's liquid joy, it's liquid happiness.

It's goes down you neck like gold. Super smooth and silky jazz, like what's playing in the background of Blood Beans right now. You hear that? Blood Beans - working well, working nicely. How're we doing? How're we doing? Do we need a fresh pot? Okay, people are buying this one.

That's good, people aren't - They don't normally buy that one - they usually buy espressos and that kinda shit. Oh, mother of Christ! What happened? Is the fucking summer rush in? Is that what's going on? Gah...It's okay, I can handle it! I have the people, I have the manpower - and the woman power, and the all sorts of power, ready to do this! You know why? Because I have so many coffee airports. So many airports, brew the coffee in those airports! You get real great coffee when you put them in airports. All of you have been drinking coffee wrong all this time, you need to actually put your coffee in airports.

Putting them in fuckin' pots - not today! Jimmy Boy! Doing well, doing very fucking nicely! Do we need a new airport? I think we need a new airport. Did I fuck this up? Did I fuck this up by blocking off that? Is - Is that what I did? (Yes you did)   Is - Is that what he did?! Yeah, fuck, Jesus! I coulda - I could've fucked it all up! Now everyone can come in and get their treats and their snacks! Now my reputation's going back up - why was it going down? Why is my reputation going down? What's wrong with my rep? I see how it is - Oh, I see! No, don't fucking bother talking to me! I know what you're thinking - I'm gonna buy a fuckin' three pound bag of beans! Give me those big old dirty beans. Nice! It's gonna make... So many cups of coffee Ten cups, twenty cups, a hundred million billion cups.

I need to reach, uh - Reputation level of 2000. Holy fuck I'm at a thousand already. "It looks like someone stole money from your store, you lose" -(2794$) Excuse me?! What the fuck, someone just stole money! Was it you? What's your name? Tyron, no. Melody, Leta Peterman...

...Christel Tack - What are these fucking names? Sons of bitches stealing money from my coffee shop. I'll teach ya how to steal, when you've no fucking legs anymore! I don't know what's going on - I don't know what's happening. I - Am I bad? Why are - Why are my customers not happy? I give them everything they want; love, joy... "You haven't unlocked any services for your shop." Okay, maybe I need to get more stuff.

Maybe people want more plants. People fucking love plants, but you know what they love better than plants? Lights. Um, okay, normal mode. No, pause for a secaroni there.

Let's buy some... Let's buy some new - some new - ah, new shiz. Let's buy some new food for the counter. Huh? How do you think about that? I think that that go down real good do.

Chocolate muffin. Fuckin' brownies. Blueberry muffins - come on in! Get everything you want, get everything you need, from Jack's emporium! Jack knows what do! Jack has got the words for you! Uhm - drinks, supply, food - order food... Uh...

Let's order one crate - okay - Okay, now we've done that - we've done that. That's great, that's golden, that's tastylicious. But we've got to fuckin' step up our game. Okay? Get your head in the game! Oh, it's cause the coffee's all - wait - Oh, the coffee's all old! Oh, motherfucker! Is there any way I can get rid of that coffee? This is old, get rid of that.

This is as stinky as poo and [blows raspberry]! It's bad coffee! Alright, here we go. Here we go, we're back in action - we're back in action! Sorry to make you guys drink shit coffee! I know, I call it the dirty bean juice, but now you're actually - it's like drinking - Fuckin' water that's been strained through someone's arse hairs! I know. Terrible. It's a terrible state of affairs.

Alright, here we go. Back to the niceness. Back to the fresh coffee. [Sucks air] Oh, it's like liquid cocaine! It's good! "A new internet meme has boosted the popularity of Iced Coffee." Well lucky for us! Meme-y goodness! That iced coffee is in sheer supply and demand here.

We have a lot of it, if you want it, your meme mice - mi - [rolls tongue] ah! You want your meme iced coffee, come on down! We have it!  Feeling this jazz, feel it in my bones. My reputation is going up like a -  Bones!  Talkin' bout my penis, that's a boner joke   Didn't know if you got it, talking bout an erection   With some viagra, but if it lasts more than four hours, call a doctor  Autumn's here. Autumn - no, Autumn! - Jesus Christ, why do I have so many people - so many friends named after seasons? Autumn's here, so it's time to say, ah [blows raspberry]! Jog on, Mr. Iced Coffee - but you know what we can add? Oh, the tastiest of autumn drinks...

We're talking about that almond latte y'all! What else can we add? Fuckin' nothing cause I haven't unlocked anything else yet, cause I need to get that Level 4, dawg! Hit me up with that level fourzy goodness! Please! Okay, do we need to brew up any more coffee? No, we don't, everyone's fucking happy. Look at this! The Tycoon world wasn't even ready for the depth adept! Sick, tasty fingerlishious goodness, of Jackaboy! Getting everything done proper here Turn that frown upside down. And I ain't talking about no so. No fucking smile.

I'm just take your head off turn your head upside down I put it back on because you're so enamored with my coffee Okay, everyone's drinking Espressos apparently no one's taking these coffees. That's fine. That's good Probably shouldn't have bought so many beans. Okay, my reputation is still going up now.

It's only going up. I'm going off never popping off What that's a lot of tasty bean boys? That's a lot of tiny children wait, wait wait wait wait Delilah Okay, okay Theres coffee in. Why did they leave sad?  Bringing down my reputation, ain't nothing bringing down Jacks reputation. The only thing that'll bring down Jack's reputation is Jack and that ain't ever going to happen because I only I only fire head shots I only I only blast off, I only hype myself up I never hype myself down.

Your reputation has increased clients will appear more frequently, remember to keep them happy What about me? Okay But what about, but what about m-e? My enjoyment. What about my self-esteem? Keep the clients happy what about keeping your customer your fucking your patrons not your patients not your customers your staff happy I don't know what I'm trying to say. Try and say a whole bunch of shit, and it's going nowhere It's coming out of my mouth, and it's coming back up And hit me in the eyes. A famous TV show called the great friends wants to show you have Yeah, this happened last time and I was like why wouldn't I do that? Hey, did I get anything you for my reputation going up? I don't think so might have to hire new staff soon That's what might have to happen or maybe I could just train the staff I already have What's your specialization? Oh, you don't have one that's that's fine.

That's cool. Who are you people? Lorene and Marilyn, okay? Marine I'm going to train you to be a better barista Mmm, 4,500 trained you in that yes, please Where was it this one? Yes Will you be better Barista and Marylin? Marylin Reasoner, come on down Marylin, because you are getting the best of the best. I'm talking about Level two, get them back 4,500 for your training there we go Saff happy. Winters here everything's happening at once everything's good.

I can't see anything I'm blind I'm feeling you guys and feeling yeah, I know how it is okay. Get rid of that get rid of that We'll keep this one and then let's order some coffee what I'm talking about ordering. Just one little bag Just one little bag a big blended boy bean. One little bag of boys.

That's all I want Put you in there, brew. What's up brew? I just took a break and had some food. That's what's going on right now. I ate some spicy chicken and not going to mince words here.

I'm fucking dying Why why why are you all upsety with me? Is it because it's old coffee? Is that what it is. Well, you know what were doing. We're fucking wasting money here Doing that, I'm just going to do that oh? Cuz everyone wants some of the fucking espresso all the time Why are you guys going away sad? Okay, stuff is actually going up Reputations going up that's good. Keep those numbers soaring Keep, those numbers going up in the air.

I don't care if my voice breaks. It's going to break all at once. He's happy because you're taking too long Because you're taking too long to do the things that you're supposed to be doing? Do I, do I, have to hire somebody else? Is that what. Is that what's going to happen? Phoenix, are you not doing your job well? Oh? I see how it is, I see how it is.

There are no new positions for a new employee. Oh Okay Okay Could buy a new desk. I could do that, but you know what I don't have the fucking premises for it. I need to build up a bigger premises I.

I wish I had the premises for it. Wish that I could do that. I wish I wish I hadn't killed that fish. I wish I was a real boy sometimes Come on as long as my reputation keeps going up A crazy story came out today about a kid that got superpowers from drinking okay.

Yeah, Cappuccino do I have Cappuccino on the menu? There we go plus 20% Here we fucking go. Yeah people are actually getting happier. I. Need that reputation to go up.

I need to hit 2000. I also need to go up in level So just keep keep serving that keep serving that water keep serving that oh Filtered bean juicy dirty goodness Why are you angry? What are you getting pissy about? Huh? What's your fucking deal? Favorite is a latte and raisin bread Well, why aren't you fucking eatin? My lovely raisin loaf that's right here my mother put countless hours into that raisin loaf She had to bend over backwards to put fucking raisins into bread. Do you know how hard that is? It's not as easy as people think there's a fine art to it. Why are people angry Okay, I like you guys you guys were happy there went from an 8 to a 3 Crystal Wetherill Might just have to stab you.

I'm sorry, but that's just the way of life There's nothing I can do. I can't make things go any better right now. This is the best I have Just get me to level four if you get me to level 4 I can increase some stuff. What is this? This is my workstation okay.

That's cool. There's an available slot for a blender should I have actually gotten one of those? Basic Blender I don't know what they do. I have a fuck ton of money. Holy shit Okay, I need to get some more coffee All right Alright, we are getting the 4K three pound bag of dark blend.

Give me those fucking beanie boys. That's what I should have called the name of my shop. Instead of beastie boys its beanie boys. That woulda been fucking brilliant.

Don't look at me. Don't look at me. Where's my order? Oh shit. Oh shit Coffee is ready, okay, then put it in there put it in there and fucking brew, brew, brew! Shit.

Losing customers, losing them fast here folks. Come on Spicey chicken is coming back to kill me. Okay, this is fine, this is good. Ah! We are almost at level 4.

When I get to level 4 and a reputation of 2 sweet thousands You good,  you good. You happy? Why are you not happy? The market has normalized, so fucking happy for it. Here we go reached level 4. New level reached check out the store for new items.

We have a bigger desk bigger desk means more people That's what I'm saying Can we buy this can we replace you there's already a work station in your coffee shop do you want to replace it. Oh hell. Yeah Holy jizz! There we go. Ok, nice solid tasty action, action, action.

Inventory ok we have to use everything wood sugar table Bring you over the fucking blah blau it was appear That I am back in action Where's my staff? Did I not have like, blenders, and shit that should be put down here? What's going on? Available slots? Yes? Did I end up selling them all? Is that what happened? That they all just got sold because of that? Here we fucking go. They are in here Place Place Place Place place place Melrose place Fragrant way towards, what's this you have the left advanced marketing level 6 yet. Well fuck you then Here we go good marketing campaign we are going to assign a new barista Okay, 53 barista 65 barista. There we fucking go and we are also going to hire No one else because we fucking can't.

Get your head in the game Everybody, okay? Your a new barista so train for Barrister is there something with higher Barista there we go Coffee for dummies who we got Jared Levine? Okay, okay here we go. Do we actually we don't haven't even have any coffee in there yet See he's mad at me now He's not getting mad at me because he ordered an espresso. She's fucking mad at me How am I ever going to live with myself if Maris Rockhill is mad at me? So sad, okay there we go Nice, and now I think we've used up all our beans. Very good Have I used up all my food? Order food, okay, we are going to order a 5 fucking crates, oh You heard it here folks, Jack don't fuck around Jack is ready to do da business Here we go.

I even have more slots than food Let's research that, fuck yeah. The sweets are set Let's spend all our money on great things for me and the community. Let's have a runny nose Because who cares who cares ain't no one judging us we're our own people Chocolate doughnuts blueberry scones Those are not scones. Whatever.

I'm going to let you live with it. I'm not going to take your balls just yet. Oh Ho well these cost a lot. Shit Okay, winter drink.

This is a spring drink. I can get this but then I have no money. Okay, let's just make back some money for now, okay Let's make it back. An intermediate brewer.

Coffee starts to taste better. It will add it'll still add sugar for now I'll still add sugar for now, okay Replace this machine. You can't replace machine while it's brewing Well, do I? Store machine, okay. Okay, that's fine.

It's brewing for a little while longer The brew is done. Okay, machines, place, replace this machine. Hahaha, fuck yeah Yes Replace all the machines Faster better stronger bigger better stronger faster. Here, we go, brew that.

Oh fuck yeah Give me all the money let that cash money roll into my tasty jizzy jams. Are you even fucking doing anything over here? I don't even think you are. Oh! This is a, this is a big dude. A famous coffee shop ad that featured a new drink went viral oh, that's not it frozen caramel I don't have that.

Hear it is. Service made me feel like a king everyone is so friendly speed 9.5. That's you Reasoner Quality 8.5. I'm going to blame the new guy Jared you need to get your fucking head out of your ass and service 9.1 That's all y'all you all deserve that one.

Get invited to the Du Latte Awards. What if I du latte want to go? Yeah? I got him Okay, we're gonna have to change. What did I say I was going to name my shop Beanie Boys Accept.  I love how I pressed space, and I got rid of that beanie boys.

What would go well with that? Why do these signs suck? Fucking rain. Rain hail or shine coming to beanie boys. We got you covered. Are you actually doing something? Okay, that's an espresso machine, and this is the the brewer blender Now we need to order more coffee.

I like this This is good Nah, we go for the 4k one I was going to do a fucking power move and go for 11 K. It's not worth it. Not worth it y'all Look at this Feeling fucking fabulous. Okay, well I'm gonna leave my coffee shop right here.

I was gonna say my toffee shop Hahaha looks like someone stole money. Sons of bitches! You who saw it? Did you see it, who stole it, was it? Was it her? Who who are you? Deonna Durio, that's the fake name if ever I heard one oh Yeah, the service of the quality was really good and the time was really short because you came into fucking robbed me. Robbed me blind blind you robbing me blind right now Deonna do to yours? Anyway, thank you guys so much watching this episode, if you liked it punch that like button in the face! Like a boss. And high fives all around.

Thank you guys and I will see all you dudes in the next video! All right, you can take my money and You can take the coffee, but you will never take the juicy beans from my soul..

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Coffee The Greatest Addiction Ever

Every day the world consumes 300 tones of
caffeine -- enough for one cup of coffee for every man, woman and child. The world's largest buyer of coffee, the US,
has to import nearly all of this as the coffee trees from which caffeine is harvested will
only grow at commercial levels between the tropic of cancer and the tropic of capricorn
in an area called the coffee belt. Only a single state, Hawaii, is within the belt. However, the United States is only the largest
buyer because it's so populous.

The most enthusiastic coffee drinkers per capita are, in increasing
order, the Netherlands, Denmark, Iceland, Norway and, the world champions, Finland,
where they drink three times as much coffee a day as the average American. All of these
countries are outside of the coffee belt and must import 100% of their caffeine supply. To get this caffeine, first bees must pollinate
the flowers of a coffee tree and these flowers develop into bright red berries. Unlike more
cooperative domesticated plants, the coffee tree does not ripen all its berries at the
same time so they need to be hand picked and sorted.

Once picked, the coffee bean is removed from
inside the berry. This young seedling of the tree is then dried, heated, ground and submersed
in boiling water to get out the precious, precious caffeine. It takes about 40 coffee
beans to make one shot of espresso. But why is caffeine in the coffee beans in
the first place? It's not like the coffee trees want to have humans cutting bits of
them off and committing a holocaust of their offspring.

Well, the trees, of course, don't want or
feel anything and originally evolved caffeine for their own benefit. Caffeine is an insecticide
that effectively paralyzes or kills bugs chomping on the tree. Whether or not the insects go out experiencing
the greatest caffeine high ever is not known. While caffeine is /technically/ lethal, it's
adapted for for 1g bugs, not monkeys 100,000 times more massive.

So you'd really have to
try to win this Darwin Award. But, if you must: to calculate the dose of
caffeine you'll need to ingest to have a 50% of death, take your mass in kilograms and
multiply it by 150mg. Or in terms of coffee, for every kilogram
of mass you have you need to drink one latte to get a visit from the grim reaper. That's a lot of coffee so it's not suprising
that there are no recored deaths in healthy adults from this method and it's doubtful
that it's even possible.

Because, while you're busy getting the coffee in, your body is busy
getting it out by one way or another. The rare recorded deaths from caffeine are
from diet pills, pep pills and crazy people who eat the drug in its pure form. Poison though caffeine is, you do still develop
addiction to the stuff. And it's is a real physiological addiction not a wimpy psychological
addition like people claim for videos games and the internet.

But caffeine isn't heroine -- rapid withdrawal
won't kill you -- it might make you cranky and give you a wicked headache -- but since
caffeine releases dopamine to make you happy and it gets rid of headaches there's really
no reason to ever stop using it. And who would want to give up the stuff anyway?
I mean, aside from converts to Mormonism and Rastafarianism. Caffeine is the world's most
used psychoactive drug -- and with good reason it's pure awesome. It increases concentration, decreases fatigue
and gives you better memory.

This isn't just a placebo -- these are real
effects replicable in a laboratory. And, contrary to popular belief, drinking
coffee isn't a faustian bargain where the devil gives you the ability to work faster
but in exchange makes your life shorter. For normal, healthy humans there are no medical
concerns. Coffee and the caffeine within it may even has medical benefits such as protection
from cardiovascular disease, diabetes and Parkinson's.

Caffeine can even get rid of migraines, but
the amount required and the and method of ingestion is... Uncomfortable. Moving right along... You know what else you can thank caffeine
for? A little thing called the enlightenment.

In the 1600s people drank more beer and gin
than water. But with the introduction of coffee and tea, people switched from a depressant
to a stimulant. It's not surprising then that this time was an intellectual boon compared
to earlier centuries. Ben Franklin and Edward Lloyd loved their
coffee for the same reason that modern workers and students do.

It's invaluable for staying
awake and concentrating when you need to finish a TPS report or to get through that boring
physics class. Coffee is the fuel of the modern world, so
go grab a cup guilt-free and get working smarter and faster..

Read more »

Coffee and Cigarettes 2003 720p DownloadRooz

Yeah, uh, hello. You're Steve? Steven. Steven. Hi.

- Sit down.
- Roberto? - I'm all wound up,
- Yeah. You're wound up? I'm wound up too. - Yes.
- All wound up. - Ahh...

What are you drinking... Coffee?
- Coffee. Yes - very good for me, coffee. For you?
- I love coffee.

- You love it too?
- I Love it. - Steve!
- Steven. Steve... I love coffee.

What do you do? Oh, you know, I just relax, sit around,
maybe have a cigarette. Yes? Cigarettes and coffee,
I think go together good. I don't know, you think
you drink too much of it? No. Coffee is good for health, yeah? I like to drink before I go to sleep.

I drink a lot of coffee before I go
to sleep. So I can dream faster. I can dream, like when they put a camera
on the Indy 500... When they put a camera in the car,
and it's just whipping by like that.

Dream after dream after dream after dream. People ask me the next day,
what did you dream about? I say, I don't have time.
I don't have time to tell you this. - Do you smoke?
- Only when I drink... Coffee.

Do you know my mother? - Do I know your mother?
- Yeah. I don't know, I don't think so. - Coffee. They should freeze it, you know?
- Yes! Fill an icecube tray with coffee
and put sticks in it, for kids, you know? So they can start out when they're kids.
When they're playing, and stuff.

Like a popsicle. A caffeine popsicle. Ery good. I don't understand nothing.

Yes. - Can you hear me?
- What? Can you hear me? It's very loud over here. You having trouble hearing me?
Maybe we should switch. Yes, thank you very much.
I'd like to switch.

Ahh, good here. - Good?
- I kinda liked it better over there. - You go...
- Do you mind? Yes, me, too. I prefer, yes.

- Steve...
- Steven. Steve, yes. - When do you leave?
- The United States? No, here. Here, oh...

I have to leave, soon actually.
I have a dentist appointment. But I don't want to go.
I don't like the dentist. - Yeah.
- I gotta go. I guess.

- Yes.
- I haven't gone in a while. Good. You don't go? - I should go, but I don't feel like going.
- No? Steve, I am free. Very free.

You wanna go for me? Thank you very much. - You want to go to the dentist?
- I can go for you. Great. - Here's the address.
- Good.

Good. Ery good. - The name of the guy.
- Yeah, 4:30. - Steven, thank you very much.
- No problem.

- You don't mind?
- No, thank you. Dentist appointment. Very good. I have to go.

I am sorry, Steve. Steven. Steve, yeah I have to go to the dentist.
I am late. - Thank you, excuse me.

Sorry...
- Take it easy, don't be late. - Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you too, in a way. What are we doing in Memphis, anyway? - It was your idea to come here.
- Your idea. It was my idea? It was your idea.

Ery funny. Don't smoke those sawdust cigarettes
in here. I hate those things. - So what.
- What are you, a cowboy? - These are fresh.

This is fresh tobacco.
- No, this is fresh. - This is the stupid dope fresh cigarettes.
- That stuff is stale. What are you, crazy? - I'm not crazy.
- Shut up. How we doing here? Need a refill? - Yeah.
- No.

Sir? - Yes.
- Oh yes. - Hey!
- Shit! I'm sorry. - Come on man, what are you doing, man?
- Damn, I'm sorry about that. Let's not even pay the check.
This place is terrible.

This all you're going to have?
Just ahh... - Give me a light.
- Just coffee and cigarettes? That's not too healthy, is it now? - Can I get you a sandwich or something?
- No. - You all from around here?
- No. Are you brother and sister? - Yes.
- No.

Are you two twins? - Yes.
- No. Yes we are. I thought so.
You know y'all remind me of? - Who?
- Heckel and Jeckel. Shit.

You know ahh... The talking magpies? Anyway, who's the evil twin?
That's the way it works, right? - This coffee tastes like mud.
- Really. Which one of us do you think
looks like the evil one? I'd say he's the evil one, right?
He's got the evil eye. - I'm only kidding.
- You better be.

Hey, you know, I just thought of something,
with you two being twins and all. - Y'all go to Graceland yet?
- No. Oh, you should. It's real cool.

- Mind if I sit down?
- Yes I do. Yes, you can sit down.
What are you, on a break? No really, but it's kind of slow.
Tell you what, you can help me out. Just stay right there. You got me covered
and my boss can't see me.

It's his evil nature, right? Well anyway what I just thought of. Do you know that
Elvis Presley's got a twin brother? Yeah, his name is Jesse Garon.
You know, Elvis' middle name is Aron. Aron, Garon. Anyway, everybody thinks
he died at birth, you know? But my theory is...

That his mother didn't wanna raise two kids,
you know, she wasn't expecting twins. She couldn't afford to raise them both,
she gave one away. She just sent one off. So he grew up, Jesse that is grew up
in Arkansas, or Mississippi, or something.

So he didn't know he had a brother, Elvis.
But one day, like 1968 or 69... ...He's looking at himself in the mirror
and says, "Damn, I look like Elvis." So he comes to Memphis, looks up Elvis. Elvis sees him, he says, Yeah, you're
my brother. I can't believe it! How you doing? What can I do for you? And his brother says, well I don't know.

Sure would be nice
to be you for one night. So Elvis has this concert
where his brother sang. They tried to see if
they could trick people. And damn if he didn't
sound like his brother.

Then Elvis had an idea. Well? I'm kinda tired of the music scene.
I'll send him out on tour. Big mistake! You see, cuz' it was his
brother who started to go to Vegas... ...And wear them big collars
and the white jumpsuits, and the capes.

Elvis wouldn't do that.
And it was his brother who got really fat. You know, eating those
banana-fried butter sandwiches and all. The Colonel said, man we gotta get rid
of this guy, you know? He can't be Elvis anymore. So they started feeding him pills.
I think they killed him.

So what? What are you saying?
What's the punch line? - You all Elvis fans?
- No. Oh. You want to hear something about Elvis?
I'll tell you something about Elvis, okay? - You ever heard of Otis Blackwell?
- No ma'am. - You ever heard of Junior Parker?
- No ma'am.

Yeah, I didn't think so.
You know, Elvis robbed their music, man. He paid them ten bucks for their music,
and all these other black musicians, too. - That's what I think of Elvis.
- See now, here's where my theory fits. I don't think it was Elvis.
I think it was his brother.

Oh, so in that case, it's alright, huh? My favorite Elvis quote is, "The only thing
coloreds can do for me is shine my shoes." I don't think The King said that.
See, I think it was his evil twin. Danny, what you doing over there?
You got tables to wait on. Come on. - I'll be right back.
- Yeah, don't get fired, man.

Danny! Slap-happy hillbilly. Cheers. Something smells funny in here. Hey! Is that my shirt you got on? No, I don't think so.

Yeah, I think it is.
This doesn't smell like me. Yeah? What do you smell like? I smell like me,
and this doesn't smell like me. - I smell like me too.
- But this smells like you. That's because I am me.

Is that my shirt? - Why are you always copying me anyway?
- No. I'm not copying you. - Why don't you get your own style?
- I have my own style. No, you're always copying me.

Your style
is my style, because you copy it. - It's my style.
- No it's not your style. Service is bad, coffee is bad, music sucks. Hey.

Those are my shoes! - Those are my shoes.
- Those are my shoes... - Those are my shoes.
- Those are my other shoes. Bullshit. - Hey.
- Hey Tom.

- Alright...
- Alright, I'm glad you could make it. - You are here.
- Yeah. Yeah, hey you know you can call me Jim. I mean, you know, my friends call me Jim,
Jimmy or Iggy...

Or Jiggy. Call me J... Call me Iggy.
Call me Iggy. Yeah.

OK. Alright, which ever way you go,
I'll go either way, Jim or Iggy... Iggy. You call me Iggy.

Look, I'm sorry I'm late Jim.
Boy, whoo, four car pile-up. I delivered a baby this morning at
about 9 o'clock. I was saving lives,
I was out there on the highway, it was... You know there's nothing worse than
roadside surgery.

You know, you don't have your own tools,
and it's just, it's murder. I performed a tracheotomy
with a ballpoint pen... I've been busy. Wait a minute, you're a doctor? Yeah.

Yeah, I'm a doctor. Music and medicine really,
it's really been my thing... ...It's combining the two and
living in that place where they overlap. A lot of people say it shows up in
the music, you know, I don't know.

I mean it's... - Well yeah, okay...
- Yeah? - Yeah I can see that.
- Yeah. Yeah? Wow! Yeah, okay. I can...

The organization and the whole
thing. And the humanity, I guess... The humanity of the thing. Sure.
The "regard." - Yeah.

The regard.
- Ahh... Well I guess it was a big day for you then. Yes, it was a medical morning. - Everybody's alright?
- Everybody's fine.

- Well...
- You've been here awhile, I see. Yeah, I've been here.
Drinking a little coffee. - Yeah, I see.
- I ordered you some. You ordered for me? I mean, is it cool, is that cool? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Coffee, yeah... - I could go for coffee.
- Okay man.

Come on, have some coffee. Yeah. Okay, coffee it is. Those your cigarettes? No.

No, they were just sitting here
when I got here. - You don't smoke do you?
- Nah. I gave it up. - Me either.

Oh boy.
- Enough of that. That was enough. 25 Big ones. Oh boy.

Finished. - Got the energy now.
- Ohh... I feel great. Boy, since I quit, I mean,
boy...

Just everything... Yeah, you're focused. - Zeroed in, bang! You know?
- Me too. I feel sorry for suckers still
puffing away, you know? - No willpower.
- No willpower.

Pacifier... You know the beauty of quitting is that,
now that I've quit... ...I can have one. Because I've quit.

You know, I mean it's like jewelry...
You know, it's not really... I don't even inhale really. You want to join me in one? - Well yeah, since I quit. I mean...
- Yeah, - Okay.

Okay.
- Now that you've quit. - You can have one.
- Yeah, I can do that. Alright. Okay.

Hey boy, thank you! You know what I mean?
Now that we've quit... Hey, cigarettes and coffee, man. That's a combination. Can't beat it.

You know, we're really like the coffee and
cigarettes generation, when you think about it. I mean, in the 40's,
it was the pie and coffee generation. Like Abbot and Costello on Tv, man!
They always wanted pie and coffee. Yeah.

Yeah, like Abbot and Costello!
They were always ordering pie and coffee. Have some coffee!
Have some pie and coffee! What are you waiting for? You hang out here a lot? Yeah. Yeah. This is my hangout.

Huh. I just wondered, because I didn't see
anything of yours on the jukebox. Well, I mean if you don't like it here... We could go down to Taco Bell or something.
Maybe that's more your style.

What are you saying, man?
You saying, like, I'm like a Taco Bell kind of guy? No. I mean, if... You don't like it here,
you said, you don't like it here. No, no.

I didn't... I didn't say that. We could go to
the International House of Pancakes. Maybe that's more up your alley.
I don't know.

I didn't say that. I mean, I don't want to go to
the International House of Pancakes. I'm comfortable. Coffee is good though, at IHOP.

Oh, you like the coffee down there at IHOP? I drink the coffee at IHOP. I like
the coffee. You don't like it? Yeah. Yeah, man.

Hey, I like the IHOP coffee. - Classy brew. Classy brew.
- Yeah. Yeah.

That's good coffee. Yeah, that's good coffee at the IHOP. Wow, wow, I almost forgot. Listen.

I worked with this drummer
the other day in L.A. And this guy, man, his name is Giant Robo. And he's clangin' and bangin' and
really hard, Man, I thought of you. Maybe you wanna ch...

This is somebody
I think you oughta check him out! Oh yeah? You mean, uhh... You think I need a professional drummer?
Like I'm not good enough? What are you talking about? No. No. I'm just...

You know.
It's a musician. I thought, I just wanted to tell you
about this guy. It'd be great, man. It's like, hard, and industrial,
and he's beating, and I just thought, wow.

What are you trying to tell me?
I need a drummer? I could use a drummer? The drumming on my record sucks?
What are you saying? Ahh, forget it man. Forget it. You know what?
I think I really gotta get going. Oh you gotta go? Maybe another cup?
Maybe another cig...

Boy, I'd like to. No. No... Gotta go.

I really gotta go. I mean... My wife, she's alone, in a motel. - Oh yeah...
- Yeah, you know...

Call her up, come on down here,
have a cup of coffee, couple of cigarettes. - She doesn't smoke.
- Oh. - You know, it's the willpower.
- Oh I see. - I don't wanna start her...
- No...

I don't want to get her started.
This is just our little thing here. Yeah, right. Yeah... Well, hey, Just sorta...

We can just keep zippin' along, you know. I'll be thinkin'... I'll be
thinkin' of ya'. Gotta go.

Well, I guess so. Well... See ya' soon. Yeah, okay.

Wish you could stay a little longer. Oh boy, I... I... We were just starting to get going here.

Gotta go. - Okay.
- Okay Jim. - Next time.
- Okay, next time. - Take care.
- You take care too.

He's not on here either. - You're a fucking moron, you know that?
- Now what? I can't believe that you're still smoking
those fucking things. Inny, they'll fuck you up.
They'll kill you. Believe me.

What, were you put on this fucking Earth
to annoy me? You said you were going to quit,
instead, you spend a fortune. So those big tobacco companies
can get fucking rich! And then you get cancer... And then the fucking doctors
and the hospitals, they can get rich. And the undertakers too! All because you want to smoke
like a fucking moron.

Well I can't help it.
I'm fucking addicted, okay? So coffee and cigarettes. That's your lunch? That
ain't healthy, is it? You're drinking coffee
so don't break my fucking balls! Inny, I had lunch already. So I'm on a diet, okay? Jesus! Here comes my freaking kid. Do me a favor,
don't tell your mother.

Please. What the fuck am I talking about... She
smokes like a fucking locomotive anyway. How you doing Junior? He don't talk much, does he? Not lately.

Lately he's
been the silent type. I gave you 10 bucks last night,
so what'd you do with it? I just gave you 5. Listen, I'll give you 1 more. That's it.

Do I at least get a hug? For 6 bucks,
do get a freaking hug? 10 Bucks for a hug? You got to be out of your freaking mind! Alright come here, I'll give ya'... You better go get yourself something to eat
and something good. Yeah, just like him.
Get some coffee and cigarettes! Oh brother,
what the fuck are you talking about. Look at how much fucking coffee
you're drinking! You got the whole fucking pot
over there with you.

So what. They always bring me a whole pot.
I like coffee. Keeps me going. Keeps you going, right.
You're a fucking maniac.

A caffeine maniac. You're drinking coffee aren't you? - Yeah.
- So? So maybe you should try to quit. Hey, hey. I ain't no fucking quitter.

Fucking moron. Aw shit, here comes my kid again. How much did you spend? And that's all you got for 4 bucks? Peas and something to drink for 4 bucks! - What the heck is in that bag?
- It's those Chinese peas. They're not? They're Japanese?
Chinese, Japanese.

Same thing. Try one. Jesus Christ, tastes like black pepper! Give me those... Little bastard! Did you see that? He tried to fucking poison me! No he didn't Joe.

Listen to me.
Those things are very expensive. They're like a delicacy. A refined taste. Refined taste, my ass...

Jesus Christ, not again. Now I can't even light a fucking cigarette
around here without getting fucking busted! You know something?
You really are a fucking moron. I'm gonna get to those big tobacco
companies, and I'm going to thank them... ...When they put you in the fucking ground.

And did I ever tell that you're like a
fucking wife that I don't need. Can't even enjoy a fucking cigarette. Excuse me Miss. Umm...
Can I get you some more coffee? Ahh, I really wish you hadn't done that.

I had it the right color, the right
temperature. It was just right. Sorry. Uhh...

Hi. Sorry. Sorry about the coffee... Sorry.

Does your name happen to be Gloria? No. Because I thought maybe you... You're not friends with umm... Sorry.

So, can I get you something else?
A sandwich, something to eat... ...Along with your coffee? It's not a very healthy lunch
just the coffee and cigarettes. It's not my lunch, okay? Sorry. Alex...

You startled me. How are you, Isaach? Okay? Very well. I'm happy to see you. I was so sick of being in Paris.
You can't imagine.

Sit down. So I was happy to get your call. A long time we didn't see each other. No? I ordered you some coffee.

Okay? Oh yeah, sure. Thanks. So everything is okay? Yeah. Everything is okay.

Very good. I am fine. So are you sure everything's okay with you? Yes. Everything is okay.

And you? Me? Things are okay. Not perfect you know,
but pretty much okay, yeah. Good. I'm very happy to see you.

I'm happy to see you, man. It's just that since I didn't see you
for so long... ...And you called to say
you wanted to see me. I thought maybe something was wrong.

No. I just wanted to see you. That's all. Me too, man.

I wanted to see you too. Are you sure there's nothing
you want to tell me. Nothing bothering you? But why, do you want something to be wrong? Hey, not at all. But when I got your call, but I had an intuition that
something was bothering you.

Something... Maybe you need to talk about.
That's all, man. Isaach. There is nothing wrong.

Really. Okay? Are you sure? Are you crazy, Isaach? Are you sure you have nothing... To, you know, to let out? Should I invent something bad?
I could invent something bad for you. Not at all.

No. No... I don't want you to invent something.
You know, I'm your best friend. You should feel completely free
to tell me the truth.

To tell me whatever it is bothering you. Cut the shit. Okay. Okay.

I understand. That's cool. Thank you. Hey, no problem.

Isaach, no problem. Well, I guess I'm gonna go. Really? So soon? Yeah, you know man,
if you don't want to talk to me about it, I don't want to be a problem. There is no problem, Isaach.
Don't you understand? No problem.

I understand. But listen. If you don't want to talk now...
Call me anytime, okay? Now maybe it's not the right time
for you, that's all. So, I was very happy to see you.

Yes. Me too.
I'm sorry to disappoint you. But there is nothing wrong. Really.

It's okay, guy. I understand. No. You don't understand.

Call me, Alex. See you, Isaach. Soon. - Hi...

So nice to see you.
- Me too... It's been ages. Yeah. Yeah.

Last time was what?
A couple of years ago in Sydney, wasn't it? Really, was that 2 years ago? Wow. How are Jeff and Beryl? Oh you know, same old, same old. Still stuck in their odd
little parental ways. So you're not with
Mr.

Cate and the baby on this trip? Ahh... No. No. Unfortunately
I'm by myself.

I'll see them next week. - Everyone's good?
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I want a baby.

At some point. What can I get for you? What you having Catie? Oh umm... Can I have a espresso, please?
In a large cup. Yeah, I'll have an espresso too,
thanks.

A double. And can I have some hot milk on the side?
And could you heat it? - I think we can manage that.
- Thank you. I'm sorry I'm late.
I know you haven't got a lot of time. Oh.

Don't worry about it.
I wish I could stay longer. Do you stay here overnight? Or do you just do
your press stuff here? Your junket. Oh no. No, I stay overnight.

And I do the interviews here too.
It's easier... I do my interviews in my suite,
in the room, upstairs. And I just thought they're setting up
for the next interview and I just thought maybe
it would be nicer if we met down here. No thanks Shell'.

You're not... Oh go on.
They're not going to stop you smoking! - Here you go cous'.
- Thanks. So you mean, they give you
this full-on hotel suite, then they also use it for your publicity? Yeah. Seems kind of...

Cheap. Well, I mean, it's a suite.
So they just divide up the room. Yeah, but why couldn't they get you a suite and get another suite to do your press in? Well it's pretty low budget,
Shell', this thing I did. Yeah, still.

Pretty cheap, man. Can I get you anything else? - No thanks, that's great.
- You're welcome. So umm... Kinda weird getting in here.
I almost didn't.

Until they found out I was your cousin. There's some photographer-Paparazzi
guys hanging out front. I guess they kinda follow you around. Oh you know, whatever so called
celebrities are around I suppose.

God that must be a real fucking drag
sometimes, right? Not like me, I'm free! Practically broke. But I'm completely free. No one's stalking me,
that's for fucking sure. Except when they thought I was you.
I got into this club once because...

...They thought I was you. And then they found out I wasn't,
and asked me to leave. Pretty fucking rude. Don't get me wrong, it must be fabulous.

You got it all. You got a good husband,
beautiful baby. Travel all over the world,
stay in fancy hotels. Parties...

Yeah, well, you know what they say,
the grass is always greener. So how's umm... Shit ahh... - Johnny.
- Who? Jimmy...

Tim... Tommy.
Sorry. How is he? Oh Tommy... We broke up almost 2 years ago.

Tommy, Yeah. What a dickhead. Nah, got a new boyfriend now. Lee.
Remember? He's in a band.

Wrote you about him. He's a pretty huge part of my life. Sorry, Shell', but I don't think you did. Yeah, I even sent you his fucking CD! Your assistant probably
didn't give it to you.

It's okay, it's totally cool.
I know how busy your life is. Do you remember where you sent it? No. I mean, one week you're in L.A. Then you're in London,
then you're in Sydney.

I mean you're in a different fucking city
every day of the week. I'd love to hear the music.
What does it sound like? Well it's really... Kinda hard... ...Industrial, kind of throbbing...

I don't think you'd get it. Well what are they called? They're called, Sqrl. Squirrel. No.

Sqrl. You know, like they say it here. S-q--r-l.
With an umlaut over the U. Sqrl.

Oh Sqrl. I get it. Right. So I mean, can I buy the CD.
Until I find the one you sent? No.

Well not yet. I mean, they recorded it
independently. You know, so... But I think the record company's
going to put it out.

Finally. Yeah. I think. Well I'm going to have to find that CD
so I can listen to it.

You're never going to find it. Shell', that isn't fair. Actually... Well it's true.

You're
not going to find it. Really. Because I just remembered I didn't... Actually send it to you.

I think I just thought
about sending it to you. Oh, hey. Almost forgot. This is for you.

Thanks. What is it? Oh wow, this is really expensive stuff!
Must've cost hundreds! Yeah. Cool, thanks, yeah.
I could use this stuff. Make me look like a movie star, right? - Cheers.
- Cheers, gorgeous.

Seriously, Catie. Thanks for seeing me. Oh no, thanks for seeing me. And thanks for all the fancy swag.

Oh, it's nothing. It is swag, isn't it. They probably give you
all kinds of free stuff. Jewelry, clothes.
Probably give you cars, right? No, they don't give me cars.

Yeah well they sometimes give me makeup
from time to time. But I just... ...Thought, I don't know, I just wanted... I didn't have time to go shopping.

No really it's fine, I mean,
it's great. I can use it. It's just funny, don't you think?
That when you can't afford something... ...It's like really expensive.

And then when you can afford it...
...It's, like, free. Kinda backward, don't you think? Yeah well, the world's a bit like that
I guess, in a lot of ways. Oh, speaking of paparazzi, I saw these photos of you the other day
in the tabloids. Oh don't tell me that.

Yuck... What was I wearing? Oh, sorry... Yeah? Hello? Hi Lindsey. Yeah, I'm downstairs,
in the coffee room with my cousin, Shelly.

Already, really? Okay, yeah. Yeah,
I'll be up in a minute. Okay. Bye.

- Got to get back to work?
- Yeah. Back to the grind. Do you want to come up to the room? It won't be very interesting
but I mean, you're welcome to come up. What, and watch you do
TV interviews and stuff? Like Entertainment Tonight? Yeah.

Yeah. Well maybe you can send me
that CD or a letter or something. Yeah, but you wouldn't read it. Oh stop it.

I would if
you actually sent it. - I've really gotta go.
- Yeah. - Sorry.
- Yeah. - It was great seeing you.
- Yeah.

- Have you got my numbers?
- Yeah. Oh take care.
Send my love to everyone. Yeah, send my love to everyone on your end. If they even remember me.

- Bye Catie.
- See ya Shell'. Put that on my room,
and anything else she wants. Hey maybe next time
I'll get to meet Lou. Yeah...

It's Lee... Ahh excuse me. Could I have a tequila, thanks.
A double. And the menu.

I'm sorry,
there's no smoking in the lounge. So Jack, you going to tell me
about your Tesla Coil? You said you didn't want to hear about it. Yeah, I know, but that was awhile ago. Well, I don't know
if I want to talk about it.

Come on Jack. You dragged it all the way
down here in your little red wagon. Come on, just tell me about it. Well I built it based on the inventor,
Nikola Tesla's original designs.

It's an air transformer... ...With primary and secondary coils
that are tuned to resonate. It's basically a step-up transformer... ...Which converts relatively low-voltage,
high current, to high-voltage, low current at high frequencies.

Do you remember when we were kids you had a little Barbie makeup mirror? Yeah I remember that. Had a little fluorescent light on it. Well Nikola Tesla invented
fluorescent light. Without him, we wouldn't have
alternating current...

...Radio, television, x-ray technology, induction motors, particle beams, lasers. None of that would even exist
if it weren't for him. Or the rock band, Tesla. Funny.

Tesla was a true genius. If we would have paid more attention
to his ideas... The world would be a much better place.
We'd have free mass communication. Free transportation.
Free energy for everyone.

That's why they discredited him
in the end. For free energy. He perceived the Earth... ...As a conductor of acoustical resonance.

What a beautiful idea. So Jack, are you going to show me
how the coil works? Yeah, alright. You'll need these. - Alright, you ready Meg?
- I'm ready.

Damn it. Something went wrong. It was cool though. Yeah, but it wasn't supposed to stop.

It was supposed to keep working.
I don't know what happened. Think maybe you blew a capacitor? No I didn't blow a capacitor, Meg. Maybe it tripped your GFI. Yeah, your "ground fault interrupter." Yeah I know what a GFI is.
That's not what happened.

You don't have to snap at me. I think maybe your spark gaps are too far
apart on your spark coil vibrator. Ahh... Yeah that could be it.

I guess. Yeah, that is it. That's it.
You're right about that. I didn't check that earlier.

Well I'm going to go home and check it out. Are you going to go bowling, tomorrow? Yeah I'll be there. Alright, I'll see you there. Earth as a conductor of
acoustical resonance.

Hello? Hello who is this?
Laura, hi, hi... This is Alfred Molina, for Steve Coogan. Alfred Molina. M-o-l-i-n-a.

The actor, yes. Well I was just double checking
that Steve... ...Oh he is. Great, great, great.

Well just in case you need it,
my cell-phone number is... Hello? Hello, Alfred? Steve hello. Hi. Hi.

I'm so glad you could make it.
Please sit down. I was just talking to
Laura, your assistant... Seeing if you were
on your way here... - I'm here.
- Fantastic.

I took the liberty of ordering some tea. Shall I be mother? That's okay, I'll be my own mother. Some milk there for you. - Real tea!
- Yeah...

It's hard to come by. I have this fantasy... ...If I ever won a Golden Globe or ahh...
An Academy Award, I'd use the opportunity to tell the Yanks
how to make a decent cup of tea. - Well here's to a good cup of tea.
- Cheers.

I love your ahh... I love your coat. Yeah. Viv Westwood.

I just... I like...
I've got a weakness for British designers. Yeah. I don't know
what it is about American designers.

They're just too... Safe. Aren't you going to be a little bit warm?
It's about 85 outside. - Yeah.

No, I take it off when I go out.
- Oh. - It's just the air-conditioning.
- Right. So how long have you been living in L. A? Oh well, we've been here about 7 years.

- Wow.
- We love it here. We just love it here. That's a long time. I do love visiting L.A.

But I always say, it's a great place to
visit, it's an even nicer place to leave. The palm trees...
Palm trees annoy the fuck out of me. Yeah, well it's not for everybody. I like it here, but we came out here,
I came out here for the work and stuff.

It's great to...
It's great to finally meet you. I got to say I'm a huge fan of your stuff. All the stuff you've done on Tv,
the comedy stuff... I've got all...

I've got all the tapes. You know, I get them sent over.
It's fantastic. Thank you. Yeah I'm ahh...

You know, likewise...
I'm certainly very aware of you. Oh great. I saw that Tv series you did. Oh yeah, you saw that? - Yeah.
- Wow.

Interesting. - Yeah, we got canceled.
- Yeah I heard that. Comedy's such a difficult thing. Yeah.

Well your career seems to be
going terribly well. I mean, you've got a lot of heat
at the moment. - Yeah.
- Yeah. - Is that why you're here?
- Well you know...

The merry-go-round of meetings. It's nice, people are "finally"... ...Starting to take a bit of notice.
Which is great. - Are you meeting on anything interesting?
- Yeah...

I've got to say you were just... Fantastic in 24 Hour... No, seriously, 24 Hour Party People
was just a knock-out. I mean, brilliant.

- Great work.
- Thank you. - Really brilliant.
- I was... And the reviews. They were pretty fuckin' great.

I was amazed... Because you know it was... I didn't think many people would get
all the sort of, cultural references. Sort of, Manchester, early 80's,
the whole kind of music scene...

You'd be surprised. Yeah, but a lot of people really didn't
have any kind of reference to make to it. Because of the...
They know about the bands over here. But the whole thing, your character,
and his running the TV show...

Do you want a cigarette? - Sorry, they're French.
- Oh, that's okay. Thanks. No. I'll save it for later.

Oh, okay. Umm so, Laura said... ...She said, that you were really keen to
meeting. Something she didn't tell me.

She wouldn't tell me what it was. Well I didn't want to say it over the
phone, because it would've sounded weird. I can imagine how she thought,
this was coming out of nowhere. I phone her up, doesn't know me from Adam.
I must talk to Steve Coogan.

But I wanted to see you in person. When I found out you were going to
be here for a couple of days... ...I thought this was the
perfect opportunity... Anyway...

I'll get right to it.
I'm so excited about this. Let me try and put it in context. I'm... I've always had a big passion for history.

You know... And people's lives... ...And all the little events of
how you get from A to B. And all the small details in people's
lives, are kind of really...

...Full of epic qualities. You know? So I've been doing all this research. Anyway, I... I've come up with this.

And what state is... Is it greenlit or is
it just a treatment? What stage is it in? I'm sorry no. God, how embarrassing...
It's not some... This isn't work, has nothing to do with
work.

It's not you know, a project. What this is,
is I did some genealogical research... ...And what I came across...
What I discovered was... Mister Coogan? Yes? - It is you, isn't it?
- It is, yes.

Oh umm... I'm such a huge fan. You're not that huge. Only where it counts.

Could I bother you for an autograph. - Absolutely.
- Great. I've been recognized.
Where do you want it? Oh, umm paper is fine. Spoil-sport.

- Oh no, no. Don't do that.
- Sorry. - I probably have something in my bag.
- Okay. Give me a second here.

Oh gosh. So sorry. It's alright. - Give me one more minute.
- Take your time.

Here, please, in there. - Okay, and what's your name?
- Katy. - Katy.
- With a Y. Alright.

What Katy did next. - Hello.
- Alfred's an actor too. - Here.
- Oh. Thank you.

Great. - Thank you very much.
- You're welcome. Never mind. - Wow...
- Well, let's get back to this.

I don't want to take up
too much of your time. - I know you're busy...
- Sure. Yeah. As I said, I did this
genealogical research.

I was just doing it for my own interest... I wasn't looking for anything specific.
I just came across this. I'll cut a long story short.
Steve Coogan... Drum roll.

Umm, well the thing is Steve. You and I are cousins. How do you mean?
What... Do you mean artistically? No.

No. No!
I mean in the normal way. We're cousins. We're related.

Whoa. - It's amazing isn't?
- Yeah. I mean... Are you sure? See the way it works out is, look...

My great-great grandfather is
your great-great uncle. And further back, we shared the same
great-great-great grandfather. Wow, yeah... My ancestry is Irish
but I knew there was an Italian...

Well that's it! The Italian connection is our great-great-great great grandfather,
Giuseppe. - Wow.
- Isn't that amazing? This is a lot of detail. Yeah, well it's my thing.
I kinda do a little... Amazing.

I think it's just great to say that
I'm related to Steve Coogan. Likewise, I can tell people
I'm related to Albert Molina. Alfred. Yeah...

No it's my Grandmother...
...Who's the big one on the family tree. She'll be very thrilled.
She's a huge fan of your work. She loved you in... Boogie Nights.

Oh right! With the shorts and
the shotgun? Yeah. Yeah, she talked about that once. Great. Great.

But you know... I know
this is coming right out of the blue. But just think of the possibilities. It's fantastic, listen,
let's look at the facts.

We're both actors. We're cousins,
we've established that. We could... We could maybe work together.

Do a play maybe.
We could make a... A movie. We could actually do a movie
about this story. About discovering this amazing thing
between us.

That we're cousins. The story could be two actors,
who discover that they're cousins. We could actually play ourselves. We'd be in the movie, I'd be Fred Molina,
you'd be Steve Coo...

We'd be cousins. In the movie. It's fantastic! It'd be great. Absolutely great! You know...

Or not. I mean, you know,
we could just hang out. Yeah, no, we should definitely go
for a beer sometime. That'd great.

Maybe go on vacation together, you know. Just the two of us,
sort of, get to know each other. You're not gay are you? No. No.

No, no. I'm... I'm married. Yeah, well, so was James the First.

Sorry. I don't know,
that popped into my head. Say it, get it out of the way.
Know what I mean? I understand.
I know exactly what you're thinking. If somebody came up to me going,
I'm your cousin...

I'd think they were a nutter as well.
Take it from me, I'm not crazy. I just think this is a
fantastic, extraordinary, delightful thing for me. Absolutely. - And I just wanted you to know about it.
- Ditto.

All I want, if I want anything is
for you to just, acknowledge this extraordinary thing.
And... And just love me. Yeah. I could do that.

I have to... Go. I didn't tell you... ...I have this meeting.
It actually moved forward.

I see. It's at Universal.
Number crunchers, financiers. So umm... This...

This... Is this ahh... - That's for you.
- Okay. It's yours.

I'll make sure that gets filed. Sure. Sure. Well you're going to be here
for a couple of days, right? So maybe we could see each other
before you go.

Yeah, ahh... Okay,
ummm... Checking the mental diary... This is not...

This is not good. The time I'm here. It's just backed up. - I understand.
- I'm backed up.

Listen, no problem. Give me your cell-phone number and
I'll call you before you go. There's a story there... The...

The... The... There's a tri-band system here
in the states. Which is different to...

...The system in the UK.
And it's a kind of... We... The cell-phones... They don't work here.
So I'm kind of cell-phone less, in the U.S.

Oh I see. Well...
Give me your home number, I'll call you. - You've got my PA's number, right?
- Yeah. Great, then we're connected.

Well, can't... Can't you give me
your number at home? Can I say no?
Because nothing, absolutely no... ...Nothing personal. It's just I don't...

I never give my number out. Ever. It's just a space... Personal space thing.
I never...

It's just a rule... ...And I always think, stick to the rule,
stick to the rule... You know, stick to the rule. And...

It's
more of a philosophy than a rule, really. I can say...
I've not given my number out to many... ...Eminent people in the past. I once didn't give my number to Sam Mendes.
So you're in good company.

Well if it's good enough for Sam Mendes,
it's good enough for me. Yeah. - I think it's me.
- Oh that's right. Mine doesn't work.

I'm sorry, I got to take this... Hello? Yeah. Yeah, sure. Spike, hi...

How you doing? Yeah, you got the message. My agent just called you, just to
make sure we're all on the same page. No the producer credit is just so
you and I... Can sort of keep tabs on everything, you know, artistic integrity,
all that sort of thing.

Otherwise the whole thing
could just run away. Oh you bastard, no... Alright. Yeah, you still okay for Sunday?
Good, alright.

Will I meet you there? Alright. Nice and early. Okay yeah, yeah.
Lots of love. Bye, bye Spike.

- I'm sorry about that.
- It's okay, okay... Fine. Fine. So...

Umm... You... Was... Was that Spike Lee? Oh no, no, no.
I don't even know Spike Lee.

No, that was Spike Jonze. - Spike Jonze!
- Yeah. - I love him!
- Yeah, he's a good man. Good man, Spike.

Yeah, we've been... We've been
friends for a long, long time now. We're both keen hikers, We've...
Well, it's very boring. No, no, no, go on.

Well we belong to a club.
And we go hiking on weekends. He's a very, very, very committed
environmentalist. Spike Jonze is a tree-hugger... Jesus, I never had him down as that.

Well, I think he prefers the term,
leaf-people. As do I. Right, yeah, no... I mean, that's...
Don't get me wrong...

...I think it's great, I love trees.
I think there should be... There should be more of them.
When I use paper, I use both sides. Umm... I would love to...

You know, I'm going to tear up
that stupid rule about phone numbers and... It's such shit. Would it be shabby of me
to give you my number now? Yeah. Okay.

Okay. Okay. I've... I've got to go.

I'm so sorry. - I'll get the check.
- Good. Fuck... Damn RZA, where the fuck you at? - Yo, yo, yo.

Peace, yo.
- Bobby... - Word, man. Word, word.
- Chill. Pardon me for being late, Fam'.

Ain't nothing man, I was about
to hit you on the horn. Yeah, I had a fucking
emergency house call, yo. - House call?
- Yeah, house call. Sophia and Sifu's children got sick with
the flu and the virus.

So I went by,
scored some herbal medicines for them. I told them, lay off the dairy products.
Chill on the citric acid... ...And they should feel a little better,
you know? Umm so, you a doctor now, or something? Yeah, yo. I told you, yo! I've been studying alternative medicine
for two years now, son.

I mean, ancient healing techniques,
and all that, yo. Check this, yo. I even know
a certain surgical procedure that I can perform using a drill-gun. Electric drill-gun.

I'm dead serious, yo. But, yo, my hands are nice from being a DJ,
you know what I mean? To me music and medicine all go together. It's like two planets revolving
around the same sun. So...

Bong-bong! - Want some tea?
- Yeah, splash me, It's all herbals man. No caffeine. That's what I'm talkin' about, no caffeine.
Caffeine is ridiculous right now, man. Tell me about it.

That's what I'm saying, caffeine.
Caffeine leads to depression. Makes you all irritable. Have your heart beatin' fast,
faster heart rate, you know what I mean? And worse than anything, you drink
that coffee it gives you the shits. You know what I mean?
So I try to say away from that.

I'm off that shit anyway. - Crisp and clean, no caffeine.
- Yeah. - To liquid swords, family.
- Naw, to Bobby Digital. - Wu-Tang forever.
- Wu-Tang forever.

Does anybody need more coffee? - Kitchen's closing.
- Naw man, we don't mess with caffeine. - You don't?
- Naw, I don't. Don't you know caffeine can
cause serious delirium? - Delirium?
- Serious delirium. Oh now you tell me.
Well that may be my problem.

Delirium. Aren't you Bill Murray, man?
That's... You Bill Murray? Yeah, I'm Bill Murray. But ahh,
let's keep that just between us, alright? Just between us.

And you guys are, ahh... Related. Yeah, we're Cousins. We're Family.

No, you're messing with me,
'cause you're both trouble makers. - Trouble makers!
- The Wu-Tang clan. Right, Wu-Tang Clan. - You're GZA, the genius.
- That's right.

- And you're RZA...
- A.K. A... Bobby Digital. Yeah, he knows hip-hop, yo,
he knows hip-hop.

And you're Bill Murray. Bill Groundhog Day,
Ghostbustin' ass Murray. - Who ya' gonna call!
- I know that. Just don't tell anybody, alright.

What you mean, don't tell anybody,
Bill Murray? I mean... People are going to come in here,
they're gonna see you. You're Bill Murray. It's obvious.

Unless you're wearing
a disguise or something. Well, I am wearing kind of a disguise. Damn that's harsh, money. You're a real caffeine junkie, aren't you.

Just keep it down, just between us.
Here, cheers. You know, before I gave that up... ...I used to drink it every night, every single night up
until it was time to go to sleep. It was to make me dream faster.

You know, like when they flash
those cameras on those Indy 500 cars? And they just... That's how my dreams were.
Just whizzin' by. - You're stupid, yo.
- He is stupid, isn't he? I know a guy who freezes coffee.
Puts sticks in it... Has himself a coffee popsicle.

- A caf' pop.
- A caf' pop. Damn... That don't sound too good, Bill Murray! It's not the flu or anything...
It's just smokers cough. That's what I'm trying to tell you...
The nicotine, man.

Nicotine interferes with
the central nervous system. Your respiratorial system, I mean, in very small doses
it causes paralysis. - Really?
- Yeah, really man. I mean, just 50 milligrams alone...

...Have been proven to be fatal
in a few minutes, man. - How much is in one cigarette?
- 3 Milligrams. And did you know they also use nicotine
for an insecticide? To kill bugs. It's good that it kills bugs, right? Are you a bug, Bill Murray? - Jesus, RZA, you sound like my doctor.
- He is a doctor...

Actually he specializes in
...Alternative medicine. That is, alternative to this planet. Well... Do me a favor and
don't tell anybody you saw me here.

- You can trust us Bill Murray.
- So Bill Murray. You hiding out or something? Yeah, sort of. Something like that. Now I'm thinking it may be delirium.

- Serious delirium.
- Serious. Well if you're on the low, I got something
that'll help you with your disguise. Take this. - Use whatever you want.
- Oh geez...

Rock that, man. Stay on the low. This is nice stuff.
You didn't have to do this. This is great.

A bag if items for you, Bill. - Thank you.
- Don't worry about it. I really appreciate this. This is great.

Doc, what could I do for this cough? Damn I was just thinking about that.
Check this out. - You get some hydrogen peroxide.
- We got that. For cuts and stuff. Take fifty percent hydrogen peroxide,
fifty percent water.

You gargle with it.
Do not swallow, spit it out. Don't swallow, Bill Murray. And if that doesn't work...
Try oven cleaner. I got that in the back too.

- Thank you.
- Cool. Thank you. I'm going to try it right now. - Word.
- Word.

- Word man.
- Bill mother-fuckin' Murray! It's crazy yo. - Yo. Yo. Yo.

Yo, Three o'clock.
- What's up? I told Ghost to be here by 3 am. Don't hold your breath on that one, man.
You know how it is waitin' on Ghost. We'll be here all night. Think we can smoke a
blunt up in this joint? Nah, it's hot up in here with the 5-0.

But we always smoke weed in here though. That was until Dirt Dog done blew it up. I told Deflon, never let Dirty
inside this spot, man. So what's up, what you want to do, yo? - Yo, let's slide to the 'udio.
- Hit the 'udio, right.

Play some chess? - Yeah.
- Alright then. Is that the bill... For Murray? - He don't need no money, yo.
- Hit him anyway. Think I should tip him? You think he's using the oven cleaner? I don't know, but let's get
the fuck out of here.

Are you alright, Taylor? No, not really. What's up? I don't know.
I feel so divorced from the world. I've lost touch with the world. Do you know that song by Mahler? "I've Lost Track Of The World"? No.

It's one of the most... Beautiful saddest songs ever written. I can almost hear it now. Can you hear it? Oh...

It's gone now. But did you hear it? I think so. It resonated right through
the whole building. Where are we? In the Armory, Taylor.

It sounds so heavy and ponderous. The Armory. Nikola Tesla. Perceived the Earth as a conductor...

...Of acoustical resonance. I have no idea what you're talking about. Can you explain it to me? No, not really. I know.

Let's pretend
this coffee is champagne. Why would we do that? Well, to celebrate life. You know, like the rich, elegant people do. The classy people.

I prefer coffee,
simple working man's coffee. Oh, you're so provincial, Bill. Do you know what your problem is? What? You have no joie de vivre. I don't? No, besides, this coffee is awful.

You're right, it really is bad isn't it? Dreadful. I propose a toast. So, what should we toast. Oh God...

Paris. In the 1920's. Josephine Baker... The Moulin Rouge...

Qu'est-ce Que c'est...
Ca Va... Pa-pa... And also, New York. In the 70's.

In the late 70's. Really? Alright. - Cheers.
- Cheers. Delicious, isn't it? Ahh, champagne.

Nectar of the Gods. Is that all you're having for lunch,
is a coffee and a cigarette? It's not very healthy. We had lunch earlier. We did? We're on, like a break here.
A coffee break here.

Oh, how depressing. How long is our break, anyway? About 10 minutes,
and it's nearly over now. Say it isn't true. - Well...
- What? I asked you to say it isn't true.

Say what isn't true? Oh, never, never, never mind. Anyway, I have to have a nap. So, call me when the break is over. Well you have like 2 minutes or less
for your nap.

Taylor?.

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