CONTROLLING THE COFFEE EMPIRECoffee Shop Tycoon #2

[HIGH-FIVE SOUND] Top o' the morning to ya, laddies! My name is JackSepticEye and welcome back to Blood Beans, Jack and Company! We're doing well - we're doing very, very well, actually. We have a lot of drinks going on. We have - we have coffee in. I d - I don't know, do we actually have...

...Coffee? I - uhm... Forgetting how to play this game already, that's a great sign - that's a good one. Yes, we have coffee in. We're doing fuckin' fabulous, okay.

Speed up everything - summer's here! You know what that means? No, not some other person - Get out of here, Summer! That means that our drinks can change We can bring in a summer drink Add to menu an iced coffee. I don't know about all of you, but iced coffee goes down... [Suave Tone] ...Smooth... ...In the summer.

It goes down a treat. It's like pouring liquid love down your neck. That sounds like it's something - but it's not, it's not what you're thinking about. It's liquid joy, it's liquid happiness.

It's goes down you neck like gold. Super smooth and silky jazz, like what's playing in the background of Blood Beans right now. You hear that? Blood Beans - working well, working nicely. How're we doing? How're we doing? Do we need a fresh pot? Okay, people are buying this one.

That's good, people aren't - They don't normally buy that one - they usually buy espressos and that kinda shit. Oh, mother of Christ! What happened? Is the fucking summer rush in? Is that what's going on? Gah...It's okay, I can handle it! I have the people, I have the manpower - and the woman power, and the all sorts of power, ready to do this! You know why? Because I have so many coffee airports. So many airports, brew the coffee in those airports! You get real great coffee when you put them in airports. All of you have been drinking coffee wrong all this time, you need to actually put your coffee in airports.

Putting them in fuckin' pots - not today! Jimmy Boy! Doing well, doing very fucking nicely! Do we need a new airport? I think we need a new airport. Did I fuck this up? Did I fuck this up by blocking off that? Is - Is that what I did? (Yes you did)   Is - Is that what he did?! Yeah, fuck, Jesus! I coulda - I could've fucked it all up! Now everyone can come in and get their treats and their snacks! Now my reputation's going back up - why was it going down? Why is my reputation going down? What's wrong with my rep? I see how it is - Oh, I see! No, don't fucking bother talking to me! I know what you're thinking - I'm gonna buy a fuckin' three pound bag of beans! Give me those big old dirty beans. Nice! It's gonna make... So many cups of coffee Ten cups, twenty cups, a hundred million billion cups.

I need to reach, uh - Reputation level of 2000. Holy fuck I'm at a thousand already. "It looks like someone stole money from your store, you lose" -(2794$) Excuse me?! What the fuck, someone just stole money! Was it you? What's your name? Tyron, no. Melody, Leta Peterman...

...Christel Tack - What are these fucking names? Sons of bitches stealing money from my coffee shop. I'll teach ya how to steal, when you've no fucking legs anymore! I don't know what's going on - I don't know what's happening. I - Am I bad? Why are - Why are my customers not happy? I give them everything they want; love, joy... "You haven't unlocked any services for your shop." Okay, maybe I need to get more stuff.

Maybe people want more plants. People fucking love plants, but you know what they love better than plants? Lights. Um, okay, normal mode. No, pause for a secaroni there.

Let's buy some... Let's buy some new - some new - ah, new shiz. Let's buy some new food for the counter. Huh? How do you think about that? I think that that go down real good do.

Chocolate muffin. Fuckin' brownies. Blueberry muffins - come on in! Get everything you want, get everything you need, from Jack's emporium! Jack knows what do! Jack has got the words for you! Uhm - drinks, supply, food - order food... Uh...

Let's order one crate - okay - Okay, now we've done that - we've done that. That's great, that's golden, that's tastylicious. But we've got to fuckin' step up our game. Okay? Get your head in the game! Oh, it's cause the coffee's all - wait - Oh, the coffee's all old! Oh, motherfucker! Is there any way I can get rid of that coffee? This is old, get rid of that.

This is as stinky as poo and [blows raspberry]! It's bad coffee! Alright, here we go. Here we go, we're back in action - we're back in action! Sorry to make you guys drink shit coffee! I know, I call it the dirty bean juice, but now you're actually - it's like drinking - Fuckin' water that's been strained through someone's arse hairs! I know. Terrible. It's a terrible state of affairs.

Alright, here we go. Back to the niceness. Back to the fresh coffee. [Sucks air] Oh, it's like liquid cocaine! It's good! "A new internet meme has boosted the popularity of Iced Coffee." Well lucky for us! Meme-y goodness! That iced coffee is in sheer supply and demand here.

We have a lot of it, if you want it, your meme mice - mi - [rolls tongue] ah! You want your meme iced coffee, come on down! We have it!  Feeling this jazz, feel it in my bones. My reputation is going up like a -  Bones!  Talkin' bout my penis, that's a boner joke   Didn't know if you got it, talking bout an erection   With some viagra, but if it lasts more than four hours, call a doctor  Autumn's here. Autumn - no, Autumn! - Jesus Christ, why do I have so many people - so many friends named after seasons? Autumn's here, so it's time to say, ah [blows raspberry]! Jog on, Mr. Iced Coffee - but you know what we can add? Oh, the tastiest of autumn drinks...

We're talking about that almond latte y'all! What else can we add? Fuckin' nothing cause I haven't unlocked anything else yet, cause I need to get that Level 4, dawg! Hit me up with that level fourzy goodness! Please! Okay, do we need to brew up any more coffee? No, we don't, everyone's fucking happy. Look at this! The Tycoon world wasn't even ready for the depth adept! Sick, tasty fingerlishious goodness, of Jackaboy! Getting everything done proper here Turn that frown upside down. And I ain't talking about no so. No fucking smile.

I'm just take your head off turn your head upside down I put it back on because you're so enamored with my coffee Okay, everyone's drinking Espressos apparently no one's taking these coffees. That's fine. That's good Probably shouldn't have bought so many beans. Okay, my reputation is still going up now.

It's only going up. I'm going off never popping off What that's a lot of tasty bean boys? That's a lot of tiny children wait, wait wait wait wait Delilah Okay, okay Theres coffee in. Why did they leave sad?  Bringing down my reputation, ain't nothing bringing down Jacks reputation. The only thing that'll bring down Jack's reputation is Jack and that ain't ever going to happen because I only I only fire head shots I only I only blast off, I only hype myself up I never hype myself down.

Your reputation has increased clients will appear more frequently, remember to keep them happy What about me? Okay But what about, but what about m-e? My enjoyment. What about my self-esteem? Keep the clients happy what about keeping your customer your fucking your patrons not your patients not your customers your staff happy I don't know what I'm trying to say. Try and say a whole bunch of shit, and it's going nowhere It's coming out of my mouth, and it's coming back up And hit me in the eyes. A famous TV show called the great friends wants to show you have Yeah, this happened last time and I was like why wouldn't I do that? Hey, did I get anything you for my reputation going up? I don't think so might have to hire new staff soon That's what might have to happen or maybe I could just train the staff I already have What's your specialization? Oh, you don't have one that's that's fine.

That's cool. Who are you people? Lorene and Marilyn, okay? Marine I'm going to train you to be a better barista Mmm, 4,500 trained you in that yes, please Where was it this one? Yes Will you be better Barista and Marylin? Marylin Reasoner, come on down Marylin, because you are getting the best of the best. I'm talking about Level two, get them back 4,500 for your training there we go Saff happy. Winters here everything's happening at once everything's good.

I can't see anything I'm blind I'm feeling you guys and feeling yeah, I know how it is okay. Get rid of that get rid of that We'll keep this one and then let's order some coffee what I'm talking about ordering. Just one little bag Just one little bag a big blended boy bean. One little bag of boys.

That's all I want Put you in there, brew. What's up brew? I just took a break and had some food. That's what's going on right now. I ate some spicy chicken and not going to mince words here.

I'm fucking dying Why why why are you all upsety with me? Is it because it's old coffee? Is that what it is. Well, you know what were doing. We're fucking wasting money here Doing that, I'm just going to do that oh? Cuz everyone wants some of the fucking espresso all the time Why are you guys going away sad? Okay, stuff is actually going up Reputations going up that's good. Keep those numbers soaring Keep, those numbers going up in the air.

I don't care if my voice breaks. It's going to break all at once. He's happy because you're taking too long Because you're taking too long to do the things that you're supposed to be doing? Do I, do I, have to hire somebody else? Is that what. Is that what's going to happen? Phoenix, are you not doing your job well? Oh? I see how it is, I see how it is.

There are no new positions for a new employee. Oh Okay Okay Could buy a new desk. I could do that, but you know what I don't have the fucking premises for it. I need to build up a bigger premises I.

I wish I had the premises for it. Wish that I could do that. I wish I wish I hadn't killed that fish. I wish I was a real boy sometimes Come on as long as my reputation keeps going up A crazy story came out today about a kid that got superpowers from drinking okay.

Yeah, Cappuccino do I have Cappuccino on the menu? There we go plus 20% Here we fucking go. Yeah people are actually getting happier. I. Need that reputation to go up.

I need to hit 2000. I also need to go up in level So just keep keep serving that keep serving that water keep serving that oh Filtered bean juicy dirty goodness Why are you angry? What are you getting pissy about? Huh? What's your fucking deal? Favorite is a latte and raisin bread Well, why aren't you fucking eatin? My lovely raisin loaf that's right here my mother put countless hours into that raisin loaf She had to bend over backwards to put fucking raisins into bread. Do you know how hard that is? It's not as easy as people think there's a fine art to it. Why are people angry Okay, I like you guys you guys were happy there went from an 8 to a 3 Crystal Wetherill Might just have to stab you.

I'm sorry, but that's just the way of life There's nothing I can do. I can't make things go any better right now. This is the best I have Just get me to level four if you get me to level 4 I can increase some stuff. What is this? This is my workstation okay.

That's cool. There's an available slot for a blender should I have actually gotten one of those? Basic Blender I don't know what they do. I have a fuck ton of money. Holy shit Okay, I need to get some more coffee All right Alright, we are getting the 4K three pound bag of dark blend.

Give me those fucking beanie boys. That's what I should have called the name of my shop. Instead of beastie boys its beanie boys. That woulda been fucking brilliant.

Don't look at me. Don't look at me. Where's my order? Oh shit. Oh shit Coffee is ready, okay, then put it in there put it in there and fucking brew, brew, brew! Shit.

Losing customers, losing them fast here folks. Come on Spicey chicken is coming back to kill me. Okay, this is fine, this is good. Ah! We are almost at level 4.

When I get to level 4 and a reputation of 2 sweet thousands You good,  you good. You happy? Why are you not happy? The market has normalized, so fucking happy for it. Here we go reached level 4. New level reached check out the store for new items.

We have a bigger desk bigger desk means more people That's what I'm saying Can we buy this can we replace you there's already a work station in your coffee shop do you want to replace it. Oh hell. Yeah Holy jizz! There we go. Ok, nice solid tasty action, action, action.

Inventory ok we have to use everything wood sugar table Bring you over the fucking blah blau it was appear That I am back in action Where's my staff? Did I not have like, blenders, and shit that should be put down here? What's going on? Available slots? Yes? Did I end up selling them all? Is that what happened? That they all just got sold because of that? Here we fucking go. They are in here Place Place Place Place place place Melrose place Fragrant way towards, what's this you have the left advanced marketing level 6 yet. Well fuck you then Here we go good marketing campaign we are going to assign a new barista Okay, 53 barista 65 barista. There we fucking go and we are also going to hire No one else because we fucking can't.

Get your head in the game Everybody, okay? Your a new barista so train for Barrister is there something with higher Barista there we go Coffee for dummies who we got Jared Levine? Okay, okay here we go. Do we actually we don't haven't even have any coffee in there yet See he's mad at me now He's not getting mad at me because he ordered an espresso. She's fucking mad at me How am I ever going to live with myself if Maris Rockhill is mad at me? So sad, okay there we go Nice, and now I think we've used up all our beans. Very good Have I used up all my food? Order food, okay, we are going to order a 5 fucking crates, oh You heard it here folks, Jack don't fuck around Jack is ready to do da business Here we go.

I even have more slots than food Let's research that, fuck yeah. The sweets are set Let's spend all our money on great things for me and the community. Let's have a runny nose Because who cares who cares ain't no one judging us we're our own people Chocolate doughnuts blueberry scones Those are not scones. Whatever.

I'm going to let you live with it. I'm not going to take your balls just yet. Oh Ho well these cost a lot. Shit Okay, winter drink.

This is a spring drink. I can get this but then I have no money. Okay, let's just make back some money for now, okay Let's make it back. An intermediate brewer.

Coffee starts to taste better. It will add it'll still add sugar for now I'll still add sugar for now, okay Replace this machine. You can't replace machine while it's brewing Well, do I? Store machine, okay. Okay, that's fine.

It's brewing for a little while longer The brew is done. Okay, machines, place, replace this machine. Hahaha, fuck yeah Yes Replace all the machines Faster better stronger bigger better stronger faster. Here, we go, brew that.

Oh fuck yeah Give me all the money let that cash money roll into my tasty jizzy jams. Are you even fucking doing anything over here? I don't even think you are. Oh! This is a, this is a big dude. A famous coffee shop ad that featured a new drink went viral oh, that's not it frozen caramel I don't have that.

Hear it is. Service made me feel like a king everyone is so friendly speed 9.5. That's you Reasoner Quality 8.5. I'm going to blame the new guy Jared you need to get your fucking head out of your ass and service 9.1 That's all y'all you all deserve that one.

Get invited to the Du Latte Awards. What if I du latte want to go? Yeah? I got him Okay, we're gonna have to change. What did I say I was going to name my shop Beanie Boys Accept.  I love how I pressed space, and I got rid of that beanie boys.

What would go well with that? Why do these signs suck? Fucking rain. Rain hail or shine coming to beanie boys. We got you covered. Are you actually doing something? Okay, that's an espresso machine, and this is the the brewer blender Now we need to order more coffee.

I like this This is good Nah, we go for the 4k one I was going to do a fucking power move and go for 11 K. It's not worth it. Not worth it y'all Look at this Feeling fucking fabulous. Okay, well I'm gonna leave my coffee shop right here.

I was gonna say my toffee shop Hahaha looks like someone stole money. Sons of bitches! You who saw it? Did you see it, who stole it, was it? Was it her? Who who are you? Deonna Durio, that's the fake name if ever I heard one oh Yeah, the service of the quality was really good and the time was really short because you came into fucking robbed me. Robbed me blind blind you robbing me blind right now Deonna do to yours? Anyway, thank you guys so much watching this episode, if you liked it punch that like button in the face! Like a boss. And high fives all around.

Thank you guys and I will see all you dudes in the next video! All right, you can take my money and You can take the coffee, but you will never take the juicy beans from my soul..